WHAT SHOULD I BE DOING INSTEAD OF THIS?
 
Home · Articles · Columns · Worst Week Ever! · Worst Week Ever!: Dec. 12-18

Worst Week Ever!: Dec. 12-18

By isaac Thorn · December 19th, 2012 · Worst Week Ever!
wwe 12-19 copy"I just love roulette, and these men."
WEDNESDAY DEC. 12

Ohio Gov. John Kasich and Kentucky Gov. Steve Beshear today officially agreed that implementing tolls is the best way to raise revenue to build a new Brent Spence Bridge, a project slated to begin in 2014 and cost $2.5 billion. Beshear said something about how Uncle Sam isn’t going to ride in on a white horse (with money) and that if we want a new bridge he and Gov. Kasich are very committed to building one. Beshear also pointed out that collecting tolls is a great way to provide local children with more of an East Coast-style upbringing, in which every adult they ever ride through a toll booth with will remark upon how toll collectors have the easiest job in the world and they should be replaced by those bins you just toss the change into.

THURSDAY DEC. 13

Passing out while watching TV in your sparsely appointed living room is bad for you and sad in a way. Things get even less ideal when you are jolted awake by a commercial whose volume is 45 decibels louder than whatever program is airing on the station you fell asleep watching. The fiscal cliff and us eating cat food and noodles might not be something the government can do anything to help us avoid, but today the Commercial Advertisement Loudness Mitigation Act (CALM) became federal law. Enforced by the Federal Communications Commission, it will ensure that TV commercials maintain the same volume as the shows they are interrupting. Now that members of Congress have taken care of this annoyance, many people now would like to know if there is anything that can be done to limit the volume of those watching TV with you and they won’t shut up for anything in the damn world.

FRIDAY DEC.

14

The Enquirer recently published a six-part series on Barbara Joly, better known as the “Granny Robber.” Joly is currently doing prison time for robbing banks back in 2008 to support her adult son. The riveting series inspired a reader to write an Opinion article in today’s edition, titled “Granny Robber story offers lesson.” The piece details how Joly’s troubled childhood and other factors played into the string of crimes she committed. Indeed, it is fascinating to examine motive when understanding crime. Other lessons readers took from this tale include how if you were alive before security cameras were invented then that is the era during which you should have chosen to rob banks.

SUNDAY DEC. 16

Cincinnati will be casino-less for only a few more months, as the Horseshoe Casino will open downtown this coming March. The Enquirer today detailed how Indiana counties used their casino revenues for long-term investments that helped communities, rather than patching up butgets or buying things with very low resell values like Hyundai cars or the Drake Hospital. For instance, Dearborn County had a sweet 16-year run of massive revenues while conservatives in Ohio refused to legalize gambling, leading to major investments into education and job creation. The Enquirer pointed out that casino revenues should be used for everyone even though many Ohioans didn’t welcome gabling because the numbers on the roulette wheel add up to 666.

MONDAY DEC. 17

Westboro Baptist Church plans to totally disrespect everything humanity stands for by demonstrating at Sandy Hook Elementary School, the sight of the second-largest school shooting in American history. Hacker group Anonymous has set its sights on the hate-based group and informed its leaders that it will not allow them to inspire aggression on social factors they deem inferior, then threatened to render them obsolete and destroy them. Meanwhile, everyone who has ever been a victim of hacking in the past feels a little bit less angry about it.

TUESDAY DEC. 18

Nothing revs up local holiday spirit like when the University of Cincinnati and Xavier play basketball against each other and ESPN shows lots of video of chili preparation and eating during their broadcast of the game. After the minor disagreement between the teams last season, the game’s name has been changed from the Crosstown Shootout to the Crosstown Classic. Another new wrinkle in this, the 79th meeting between the two schools, is that it will be played at a neutral site, allowing anyone who wants to throw a cheese coney at an unpaid college student athlete will have to do so over 30 feet of open area where the hockey players sit when they use the arena properly. 



CONTACT ISAAC THORN: letters@citybeat.com



 
 
 
 

 

comments powered by Disqus
 
Close
Close
Close