A new study published in a journal called Psychological Science suggests that what people end up being like is actually even simpler: Strict parents tend to have conservative children and parents open to their children voicing opinions end up with more liberal kids. Scientists also found that kids with fearful dispositions — such as being afraid of the dark or accidentally watching a half hour of Glenn Beck instead of PBS — are also more likely to grow up with conservative values, while children who have restless or active temperaments often grow up trying to sing, dance and paint things for money.
SATURDAY OCT. 27
It’s easy to understand why some people get into mass debt — Best Buy will literally hand you a 60-inch TV if you sign enough papers saying you’ll pay for it later (Consumer warning: If it ends up in collections you’ll be paying double right around the time the TV is worth half as much). So it’s kind of a surprise that city leaders are open to being on the lame side of such a scheme, as City Manager Milton Dohoney today announced a plan to privatize the city’s parking services. Dohoney said he met with municipal union workers and they’re all cool with it, although he refused to answer a WWE! inquiry into whether or not Mayor Mallory’s boring shift as a meter reader on Undercover Boss had anything to do with the outsourcing plan.
SUNDAY OCT. 28
Many people who read today’s Enquirer endorsement of Mitt Romney for president likely set the paper down, said something like “I need to move out of this [expletive] city” and then googled “Jobs where newspapers don’t endorse Sarah Palin.” Such is the life of the reasonable person living in Southwestern Ohio, as Cincinnatians were once again subjected to another vague, fluffy, pro-business editorial from the Enquirer’s esteemed three-person editorial board. The Enquirer argued that Romney has been mad businesslike in his public service, met a constitutional requirement to balance Massachusetts’ budget and even oversaw the goddam Olympics. It hopes that Romney as president will find common ground and avoid a hard turn to the right despite the GOP’s stated intent of jamming him up so hard he’ll wish he was still back at Harvard making fun of gay people and driving a Lincoln if he does.
MONDAY OCT. 29
Still wondering who is going to win this year’s presidential election? Wanna know what’s better than early voting and then shutting the hell up about it until the losing candidate pretends like he respects the winner? Getting all worked up over polls with small sample sizes that make it seem like the race is crazy close. That’s what The Enquirer did today in a story about a new poll showing Barack Obama and Mitt Romney to be in a statistical dead heat in Ohio despite a 3.5 percent margin of error. The poll accurately noted that younger voters were more likely to choose Obama and that voters who believe the Obamacare death panels were only postponed until the president has enough credibility to kill anyone older than the promiscuous one on Golden Girls are going Romney.
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