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Freddie Flick, Zeppelin Dick and Snoop Is Sick

By Mike Breen · October 17th, 2012 · Minimum Gauge
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HOT

From Dictator to Queen
It’s hard to judge a biopic based on casting announcements, but news that the film about iconic Queen singer Freddie Mercury is finally moving forward with Sacha Baron Cohen in the lead is promising. Queen’s Brian May announced that the film (first rumored in 2010) is set to begin shooting in spring, with a possible release in early 2014. We know Cohen looks good in hot pants thanks to Bruno, while Borat proved he can rock a mustache harder than Burt Reynolds. Here’s hoping he can sing better than he did as Borat (worst version of Kazakhstan’s national anthem ever!).


WARM

Notta Whole Lotta Love
Singer Robert Plant recently got a little salty with reporters after, according to Rolling Stone, an AP reporter dared to ask whether Led Zeppelin was planning any reunion events.

It must get tiring to hear that question repeatedly for 30 years. There’s a time and a place for everything! Well, actually, there couldn’t have been a better time nor place to ask such a question, considering it came as the Zeppelin members were hosting a press conference about the film made from a reunion performance five years ago! Plant called the poor reporter a “schmuck” for asking the perfectly reasonable question and advised the rest of the assembled press to think twice before asking “inane” questions about Zeppelin’s future (beyond, of course, the movie of their reunion concert from which they’d like to make millions).


COLD

Snoop Drops Integrity Like It’s Hot
Before last week, the funniest things about Hot Pockets were a) people actually eat them and b) Jim Gaffigan’s signature stand-up bit about actually eating them. Then came “Pocket Like It’s Hot,” the worst example of selling out by a musician since Ludwig van Beethoven sold rights to his “Fifth Symphony” to be used in soap commercials (“I need some soap/What’s the best soap?”). The tune “Drop It Like It’s Hot” was reworked by Snoop Dogg for an ad campaign by Hot Pockets in the company’s latest effort to get people to believe their “snacks” don’t taste like warmed-up cardboard. The commercial could do more damage to Hip Hop than kids’ show Hip Hop Harry, those Fruity Pebbles commercials with a rappin’ Barney and the Method Man/Redman’s Right Guard commercials combined.


 
 
 
 

 

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