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Love Lost, Apple Bitten and Ballsy Lips

By Mike Breen · September 26th, 2012 · Minimum Gauge
mike-loveMike: "Wanna be a fulltime Beach Boy"; Stamos: "Uhhhhh, think there's a Full House reunion movie starting soon, sorry"

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Mike Love Not War
And they said it wouldn’t last! In The Beach Boys’ case, it didn’t. After winding down its successful global tour (the Boys’ first in decades with mastermind Brian Wilson), the band’s members will reportedly go their separate ways. The tour seemingly was going so well that Wilson and longtime bassist Al Jardine were game to keep going. But singer Mike Love told Rolling Stone he is set on returning to casinos and county fairs with his glorified tribute-band version of The Beach Boys. Jardine, according to RS, even shared an online petition to get Love to change his mind. Here’s a thought — Wilson and Jardine hire Journey’s Filipino stand-in for Steve Perry, Arnel Pineda, and, like Journey, just carry on like nothing happened.

WARM

Texas Tax Dollars at Work
It takes a lot to out-weird Fiona Apple in the “erratic public statements” department, but a Texas police spokesperson has done just that.

After nabbing weed enthusiasts like Willie Nelson and Snoop Dog, Hudspeth County’s apparent “Stop Every Tour Bus” procedure recently snagged Apple with a tiny stash of hash and pot and arrested her. At the singer’s show in Houston, Apple ranted that four jail workers did … something bad to her (she didn’t say what, but threatened to). Hudspeth County Sheriff’s Department Public Information Officer Rusty Fleming responded with a bizarre, condescending letter peppered with asshole-y “Honeys” and “Sweeties.” The Public Info OG wrote that he was more famous than Apple and claimed credit for “jump-starting” her career. His last piece of unsolicited advice: “Just shut-up (sic) and sing.” Ironic coming from a tax-paid employee who took time to craft a statement barely on the intellectual level of a 13-year-old’s Facebook status update.

COLD

Non-Flaming (Hopefully) Lips
In 2009, rockers Black Lips found out that it’s definitely not OK in India to make out with your (same sex) bandmates and get naked on stage (the band was essentially chased out of the country afterwards). Now, NPR reports, the Lips have taken their global tour to the heart of “Arab Spring,” playing all those places you’re seeing on TV news right now with fiery anti-American protests (from Egypt to Iraq). So far, so good. But that gig at the Taliban Hard Rock Café is gonna be a tough one. 

 
 
 
 

 

 
 
 
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