Awakened by the toxic nature of the planet, GWAR’s mission is now the destruction of Earth, which the members hope to achieve by creating deranged Metal that will enslave their wretched fans and cause them to buy albums (like This Toilet Earth, Carnival of Chaos, We Kill Everything and their latest, Bloody Pit of Horror) and various other vile trinkets. It’s also designed to compel the minions to attend events like the annual GWAR-B-Q and gigs at the various Earthbound locales where they beam themselves to play their “instruments” in a “live” setting (after a million years, you’d think they’d learn to spell Cincinnati, but that’s another column …).
These mutated blobs of cosmic protoplasm have been poking humanity with their Metal schtick for nearly 30 years (since jolting from the space coma, anyway), and they don’t look to be slowing down, even after the death of Flattus Maximus last November. GWAR is hell … socialize, you human filth.
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