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Kim's Theme, Hotplate DJs and Dangerous Bassists

By Mike Breen · July 11th, 2012 · Minimum Gauge
lilkimKim Jong-Un

HOT: Lil Kim Gets a Theme Song
As Sacha Baron Cohen showed in his most recent film, despite their often horrid acts of human rights violations and other atrocities, most dictators are also hilarious. North Korea’s new “supreme leader” is picking up where his pops left off in the crazy/hyper-vain department; The Atlantic reports Kim Jong Un has dropped a new theme song/“propaganda hymn” titled “Onward Toward the Final Victory.” The first line (translated) should give you a sense of what the song’s all about: “By exploding the mental strength of the united heart of our million citizens …” OK, maybe not. According to North Korean media, citizens believe the song to be the greatest ever written and it’s expected that it will sweep this year’s Korean Grammys (or “Kammys”).

WARM: Hottest Turntable on the Market
Giving new meaning to the words “hot DJ,” an inventor in Singapore has finally solved that age-old disc-jockey dilemma — when you’re in the middle of a sizzling club set, how are you supposed to warm up that can of baked beans for your supper at the same time? According to psfk.com, the “DJ cooker” is part turntable/part hotplate, allowing turntablists to cook and work the decks at the same time.

The product will offer different tracks for different dining options (Pizza Hot Pocket goes with Afroman’s “Because I Got High,” for example) for download. Work a mini-fridge into the creation and we may just have the most important invention of the 21st century so far.

COLD: Dangerous Bass
It was not a great week for disgruntled bass players and the people with whom they perform. On July 3, the Fullerton, Calif., band Poop (yes, Poop) got into a fight at its rehearsal studio ending with the band’s drummer being beaten to death. At press time, no charges had been filed, but Poop’s bassist was taken into custody and is being questioned. Then, on July 6, ex-bassist and founding member of Punk legends Cro-Mags, Harley Flanagan, was arrested after allegedly attacking his replacement (and his former bandmates) with a hunting knife as the band was preparing to perform as part of the New York City-wide CBGB’s festival.
—mike breen



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