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Spotify, National Anthem, Blue Ivy

By Mike Breen · January 10th, 2012 · Minimum Gauge


If It Seems Too Good to Be True …

When Spotify was introduced to the U.S. last year, the streaming music service with a massive library seemed to be the best thing to happen to music fans since P2P file-sharing. It was fairly comprehensive, legal and, most shocking of all, free. But anyone who has used the service without a monthly subscription knows how badly Spotify wants everyone to pay to listen. Initially, the streamers tried to wear down moochers with pesky commercials every three songs. But apparently the company has been working from the corner crack dealer handbook all along — free samples up front, then, once you’re hooked, no more unlimited music unless you pay up. It is being reported (after someone actually read Spotify’s “terms of service”) that the company will cap free usage at 10 hours a month once someone’s been a member for six months. It’s kind of like Golden Corral turning its “all-you-can-eat” buffets into “all-you-can-eat-in-15-minutes” buffets. 


A Patriot Act

Indiana State Senator Vaneta Becker is working day and night to make Indiana a better place to live and help residents through this tough economic climate.

Oh, wait — actually, she’s been busy working on a proposal that would fine people $25 for singing “The Star-Spangled Banner” incorrectly. What constitutes a proper performance? Becker told the Indianapolis Star that the national anthem should be sung “the way that we normally have it sung or heard throughout most of our state and our country.” The proposal — reportedly inspired by a single phone call reporting a performance where the lyrics were parodied — would result in fines only when the American-hating song interpreters destroy the national anthem during events at public schools and state universities. So heads-up, Jose Feliciano — if you’re asked to sing your stirring rendition of the anthem at, say, a Ball State Water Ski and Wakeboard Team event, it’s just a revenue-raising trap.


Marital Ignorance Is Not Bliss

Blue Ivy Carter — the newborn who will one day be asking, “Mom, did you seriously use the MTV awards as my birth announcement? Tacky!” — entered the world Jan. 7. At least one Northern Ohio man was probably not smoking a celebratory stogey upon hearing the news, but he was a lot more familiar with the main players in the Lion King-like birth. According to police, the unnamed 48-year-old was stabbed exactly one week earlier by 31-year-old Ronald Deaver for the heinous crime of … not knowing that Blue Ivy’s ma and pa, Beyonce and Jay-Z, are married. The lesson? If you don’t read TMZ, Perez Hilton and other such gossip sites daily, you will get shanked.



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