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Sting, Clarkson and New Years

By Mike Breen · January 3rd, 2012 · Minimum Gauge
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24 Hour Party Pooper

Another great Rock & Roll legend has been shattered. Sting’s wife Trudie Styler recently told U.K. paper The Daily Telegraph that longstanding rumors about the singer regularly having “tantric sex” for up to 24 hours were false, the result of a drunken interview and some off-the-cuff joking with a journalist and fellow rocker Bob Geldof (who confessed to being a “3-minute” kinda guy, according to Styler). The interview was 21 years ago, suggesting Sting was in no rush to shoot down the tall tales of daylong hump sessions. Meanwhile, upon hearing the news, men across the world whose prowess falls more within Geldof’s timeframe turned to their lovemaking partners and simultaneously shouted, “See!!!???”


Clarkson Sez “Gimme Paul”

While we all anxiously await Donald Trump’s presidential endorsement, another celebrity has weighed in on the upcoming election, throwing her support behind GOP hopeful Ron Paul, the most libertarian of the bunch who has grown a cult following of young people enthralled by what they perceive as Paul’s “Do whatever you want” philosophy.

Singer Kelly Clarkson announced she’d vote for Paul if he won the Republican nomination (his odds are about as good as her own), but backtracked a bit when someone apparently told her about Paul’s sketchy views on civil rights and support of the death penalty. To clear things up, she posted on a social media site, “I do not support racism.” The odd-for-so-many-reasons endorsement may have all been a ploy to capitalize on Paul’s popularity with the kids — her most recent album, Stronger, saw a drastic sales boost at online retailers like Amazon.com and iTunes immediately following her initial announcement.


Fab Faux

The Beatles were a bigger part of the recent New Year’s Eve TV broadcasts than Dick Clark, with two Pop superstars deciding the best way to usher in 2012 was to anger all of the old Fab Four fans watching (and if teen fans thought they were originals, all the better). Justin Bieber treated the throngs at Times Square to a serviceable, cover-band version of “Let It Be,” joined onstage by Carlos Santana (logically). Then Cee Lo serenaded the masses with a loungey version of John Lennon’s “Imagine” — with new and improved lyrics! Cee changed the troubling line “Nothing to kill or die for/And no religion, too” to “Nothing to kill or die for/And all religion’s true.” Guess it could have been worse. He could have done “Revolution” but changed it to the more holiday-appropriate “Resolution” (“Now tell me all your resolutions/Well, you know/We all want to shrink our waists”). This will be the first time in print history these words appear together in this order: Cee Lo, you should have taken a lesson from Justin Bieber, retained your dignity and played it straight.  



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