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Korn, Megaupload and Pearl Jam

By Staff · December 14th, 2011 · Minimum Gauge


Korn Flakes

The good news for political conservatives — they finally have a somewhat relevant musical act on their side now! The bad news? It’s Korn. With enough paranoid hyperbole to make even Glenn Beck say, “Uh, that’s a little nutty,” Davis told Billboard that Korn’s new song “Illuminati” was inspired by America’s President, who he calls an “illuminati puppet” who has “dragged this country down into the worst it’s ever been.” GOP pundits and staffers surely celebrated the key Korn endorsement … until one looked “Korn” up on Google and played four seconds of a song. Guess they will just have to go back to praying Bruce Springsteen suffers some kind of brain trauma and converts to Republicanism. 


File Under “Ridiculous” 

We’re still not too sure what the widely mocked viral video and “song” celebrating online file-sharing site Megaupload is, but we know a few things it is not — dignified, enticing, effective, entertaining (outside of “It’s so bad it’s …”).

After being targeted by the recording industry for allegedly enabling pirating, several A-list music stars who can’t live without Megaupload (many say it’s the best way to store and transfer important music and other types of files) teamed up for the clip endorsing the site. Like a slightly more musical version of a Blu Blockers sunglasses commercial, the video features top music celebs like will.i.am, Alicia Keys, Snoop Dog, Kanye West and Puff Daddy, plus Kim Kardashian (who, we imagine, uses it to show potential new boyfriends her sex-tape, a.k.a. how she became famous). The entertainment companies who view the site as part of the “Axis of File-Sharing Evil” didn’t take long to strike back —  Universal Music Group claims the video violates its copyrights (several celebrity endorsers work for the label) and had it removed from YouTube and other sites. The file-sharing service told TorrentFreak it’s suing Universal in response. So you’ll just have to illegally download it on one of the 180 million other almost identical sites instead. 


More Than a Stealing 

There’s a special section of hell — right next to the Adolph Hitler Memorial Drinking Fountain (of Piss) and three volcanoes over from the new 77 Slutty, Infidel Virgins Stripclub and Bacon Dispensary (newly installed for Osama bin Laden) — for people who steal from sick children and their families. Two men in Vermont will one day be lodging nearby after being arrested for swiping a guitar autographed by members of Pearl Jam and given to a cancer-stricken teen in 1991. The boy passed away a few months after receiving the guitar, but it was kept in his family’s home until recently, when the two thieves allegedly stole it and other items. The guitar was recovered but the the Pearl Jam autographs were reportedly sanded off, presumably to make it easier to sell (or maybe to have them replaced with Soundgarden’s signatures). 



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