The Land is not one but five intense, haunted attractions. It’s our region’s “scream park,” the haunted house version of Disneyworld. New for this year is the Field of Screams, which is a mildly scary maze for young kids. The park’s vibe and clientele are overwhelmingly youthful — most of the patrons were teens — but the frights will creep out the most jaded adult. It’s a good time, devil’s-carnival atmosphere.
Once you’re inside, the hub of the park is a massive bonfire and the Club Zombie outdoor dance party. Creeps and DJs set the mood for the evening here. From this point, you can jump in feet first into the five major attractions: The Temple of Terror (Indiana Jones’ nightmares), Dr.
Psycho’s Haunted Estate (a classic, trapdoors and hidden passage haunted house), The Middletown Haunted Trail (a mile of animatronic mayhem), 3D Killer Klowns (self-explanatory) and the Voodoo Bayou Shanty (Deliverance on meth).
The best of the fun is the Temple, which features fun tricks that will surprise and keep you on your toes, and Dr. Psycho’s which, although it’s a little unfocused, has movie-quality sets and innovative sets that confuse you while the actors catch you off guard. There’s a lot here that will make you wonder how they did it (the school busses buried on end comes to mind) and the magic of good illusions.
The Wait: The lines take between 25 minutes to more than an hour. It takes 20-25 minutes to go through each attraction.
Details: Open dusk until 2 a.m. Friday-Saturday and dusk to 11:30 p.m. Sunday through Nov. 1. 8762 Thomas Road, Middletown, 513-423-9960, www.thelandofillusion.com.
The Damage: $25-$35 (cheapest on Sundays, most expensive on Saturdays. Discounts available online.
CityBeat Rating: PG-13