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Bullets, R.E.M. and Unemployment

By Staff · September 27th, 2011 · Minimum Gauge


Shanghai Surprise

Most Rap and Rock stars who get busted with weaponry at airports usually have similar excuses, along the lines of, “Damn, I was rushing and thought I grabbed my wallet but accidentally picked up my back-up Uzi!” During an ordeal in China recently, the singer for Vancouver Indie Rock band Behind Sapphire had a like-minded excuse, though with a decidedly “Vancouver Indie Rock band” twist. After a flight from Canada to Shanghai, the musician was detained and placed in jail for six days for what he claims to have “accidentally” hidden in his luggage. A glock? Hand grenade? Snacks from Panda Express? Nope — the vocalist was reportedly jailed because his suitcase contained collectible antique bullets from World War I. 


Nevermind Nirvana, R.E.M. Broke Up!


has certainly earned the right to do anything it wants after maintaining its integrity while navigating over 30 successful years in the music biz. The band has always been a class act — so why the awkward timing of their break-up announcement? Like an older sister standing up at baby sis’ wedding to announce she’s pregnant with triplets, R.E.M. chose the week most of the music press was churning out hyperbolic musings on the 20th anniversary of Nirvana’s Nevermind to announce their break-up, forcing the blogosphere to shift to hyperbolic musings on R.E.M.’s awesomeness. Given that pretty much any band capable of cobbling together a reunion is doing so nowadays, fans shouldn’t be too bummed — don’t be surprised when there’s a reunion tour announcement, maybe on, say, April 5, 2014, the 20th anniversary of Kurt Cobain’s suicide?


Don’t Take This Job and Shove It 

The latest horrible “protest” song, a Country novelty ditty called “I Need A Job” by duo Burns & Poe, has been earning press cheers and jeers this week. The twosome is careful to not explicitly take political sides — in the song, when they blame “the government” for unemployment, maybe they’re referring to George W. Bush’s expensive, pointless wars or all those cock-blocking Republicans who are purposefully trying to tank the economy so they can take over, completely decimate the middle-class and make the rich richer? Still, the song is clearly pandering to (and taking advantage of) the misguided, unemployed Tea Party marketplace (which doesn’t seem particularly lucrative, but OK). We’re still waiting for confirmation that when Obama was told of the song, he muttered something like, “I’ve gotta job for them,” then gestured towards his crotch. 



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