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Keith, Party Rock and Narcs

By Staff · September 14th, 2011 · Minimum Gauge


Where’s the Keef?

Keith Richards has more cool in his elongated, coke-scooping pinky fingernail than 99 % of the actors in Hollywood, so news from Keef (reported by the U.K.’s Telegraph) that there has been talk of turning his bestselling autobiography Life into a feature film has casting directors all over Tinseltown sweating bullets. Entertainment Weekly and others have mused about some possible choices to take the role, including a handful of lesser-knowns (probably a good tact for the filmmakers) and the vampire hunk from the Twilight series (he’d need some serious work — what’s the opposite of Botox?). But, of course, the most obvious choice is someone Richards has worked with before, star of the Pirates of the Caribbean films … Geoffrey Rush. In full, gruesome skeleton-ghost-monster make-up.


Party Rock Anthem Fail

The trend of clueless right-wing politicians awkwardly co-opting Pop songs is apparently an international one.

In the U.K., The Guardian reports that the right-wing Ukip party recently used the hit “Tubthumping” by notoriously anarchist Brit band Chumbawamba (with its “I get knocked down, but I get up again” refrain) during a party conference. The band was not flattered. Group member Dunstan Bruce said they were horrified and outraged by the “grubby little organization” hijacking the song, while former vocalist Alice Nutter (who sings the tune’s “Oh, Danny boy …” hook) called the politician who came on stage to the song “an arse” whose party “is mainly made up of bigots.” The group members claim they’ll sue if it happens again. Politics aside, given the section of “Tubthumping” about getting completely wasted (“He drinks a whiskey drink, he drinks a vodka drink, he drinks a lager drink, he drinks a cider drink”), Ukip might win on the hinted promise of an epic, open-bar victory party. 


Little Shop of Allurers

“Narcs” — undercover cops trying to blend in and befriend then bust unsuspecting illicit drug (and marijuana) users — were once pretty easy to suss out. If you’re in high school, it’s the dude with the infected eye-brow piercing and grey goatee. In college, it’s the guy in the spotless toga who starts having parties stocked with way too many kegs. After that, pay attention to street jargon for various drugs and you should be fine (if anyone offers you a “doobie,” for example, decline immediately). In an undercover, borderline racial-profiling operation in London, cops set up a phony store that sold Hip Hop music, which, according to the Daily Mail, helped them nab 37 “armed criminals and drug dealers.” Officers involved reportedly studied Hip Hop music intensely before launching the operation (because the PM Dawn and Blackstreet posters originally intended for the walls weren’t cutting it). The yearlong sting was sidetracked briefly when someone was tipped off to the scheme and opened a discount donut shop next door as a diversion. 



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