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Comedy: Chris Porter

By PF Wilson · March 29th, 2011 · CityBeat Recommends
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A few years ago Chris Porter was just a stand-up comedian from Kansas City touring the country when he had what he calls “an epiphany.” He elaborates on his blog: “I was drinking amaretto out of a girl's vagina when I thought to myself that this was as good as it was ever going to get living in Kansas City. To be honest with you I didn't even really want to drink the amaretto, but how often does that opportunity arise? And we were out of cups.”� Porter headed to L.A. and began concentrating on his comedy career. He quickly found representation, which was a relief.

“Now someone else can worry about where I'm going to tell my dick jokes next month,” he recalls thinking.

Not a topical comic per se, Porter feels he might have a solution to rising fuel prices. Addressing the women in his audience, he tells them that they could end the gas crisis. “Just start having sex with guys that ride the bus,” he explains. “Can’t get laid riding the bus, can’t even get laid in a car that gets good gas mileage. No one’s having sex with a guy driving a Neon. Girls like SUVs, Hummers, Escalades. If you’re getting better than 18 miles per gallon, nobody's having sex with you, and that’s the problem.” If women have sex with bus riders, Porter reasons, gas use decreases and the price will go down. “So ladies next time you’re at the pump paying $3.55 a gallon, remember it’s your own damned fault.” Porter performs Thursday-Sunday at Go Bananas in Montgomery.

Go here for ticket information and directions.

 
 
 
 

 

 
 
 
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