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Phil Collins, Lady Gaga and the Grammys

By Staff · March 9th, 2011 · Minimum Gauge


Throwing It All Away

A remarkably self-aware Phil Collins announced plans to retire from music. The former Genesis singer/drummer and solo sensation is apparently that rare breed of successful musical artist who knows when it’s time to throw in the towel. And the fact that it has at least something to do with public disdain gives hope for those who wish Fred Durst and Jimmy Buffett would follow him into retirement. Besides work-related physical problems from drumming and loud music, Collins told FHM magazine he can’t relate to today’s Pop music and understands overexposure made people “what to strangle” him. “It’s hardly surprising that people grew to hate me,” Collins said. Oh well, he’ll always be able to find work as a Charlie Brown impersonator.


Gaga Not Keeping Abreast of Ice Cream Situation

Two current Pop culture oddities collided recently when it was reported that superstar Lady Gaga has threatened to sue the store making Baby Gaga, a vanilla/lemon/real-breast-milk-flavored ice cream.

Gaga’s threats were instantly met with a spot-on defense by Matt O’Connor, the store’s owner, who we’d like to offer a job as Minimum Gauge’s foreign correspondent. O’Connor on Gaga’s claims that the ice cream is “nausea-inducing”: “This from a woman with a penchant for wearing rotting cows’ flesh.” On accusations that the ice cream’s name was an effort to ride the singer’s coattails: “As someone who has … recycled on an industrial scale the entire back catalogue of pop culture to create her look, music and videos, she might want to reconsider this allegation.” And on ownership claims to the word “Gaga”: “Since the dawn of time (gaga) has been one of the first discernible phrases to come from a baby’s mouth.” But O’Connor’s best defense? The breast-milk treat isn’t even available anymore. The government’s food standards department halted sales over concerns that recipes using bodily fluids might being unsafe. But what about all that “blood pudding” Brits eat?


Grammys Got Run Over By a Bellyacher

While many applauded a few of the unexpected Grammy wins this year (Esperanza Spalding, The Arcade Fire), others were pissed, apparently forgetting that “biggest selling” doesn’t always mean “best.” Former music exec Steve Stoute was the loudest protester, buying a full-page ad in The New York Times to berate the Grammys because Eminem and Justin Bieber were robbed. Grammy officials announced they would, seemingly in direct response, work to better the Grammys rules and processes. So look for the Grammys to morph into the People’s Choice Awards. If only Stoute had done this earlier we could have seen nominations for viral video hits like “Chocolate Rain,” “Bed Intruder Song” and “Cat Playing Piano.” Maybe next year Rick Astley will finally get a Lifetime Achievement award?



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