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Year in Review Edition

By Staff · December 29th, 2010 · Minimum Gauge

Time to Dust Off the Ol’ Commodore 64

Unless you’ve been living under a proverbial rock, you’ll know that the biggest music news story of 2010 was the arrival of music to something called “the Internet.” Smart readers might have heard rumblings about this for a few years, but, as huge fans of (only) Garth Brooks, Kid Rock, Pink Floyd, AC/DC and The Beatles, we only recently found out about this weird technology a couple of months ago when the Fab Four announced it would sell its music on “the Web” (which is apparently a nickname for this Internet thing). Seems like a magical advancement to us. We just hope people don’t figure out a way to use the technology to obtain music without paying for it!


SuicIdol Tendencies

The second big story, as anyone who listens to real music knows, was American Idol’s decision to hire people who have actual experience in being stars to decide who the next big music star will be.

Don’t worry — they’re still bat-shit crazy. Steven Tyler of Aerosmith did what any Rock legend who spends a year or so doing things that make the public question their sanity and sobriety and signed on to be a member of the new AI panel. Joining him is Jennifer Lopez, a gorgeous woman who cast a spell on the public (literally — we’re pretty sure she’s a witch) and made many of them believe that she could act and sing in tune. If it wasn’t up against Family Matters reruns, we’d totally watch AI every week now!


Will Someone Please Think of the Publicists!

The final “biggest music story of the year” is another Internet-related nugget, this time about Twitter. Not about how it connects fans directly to artists. Twitter is a job-killer! Publicists might soon join former record label employees in their curbside houses made of unsellable promo CDs as Twitter continues to make concepts like “publicity team” and “PR firm” obsolete. The social-networking tool has become the only PR tool that matters, as musicians and celebrities have taken to unveiling all relevant news via their Tweets. Here’s a fun drinking game: Turn on any television entertainment news coverage (Access Hollywood, CNN … it’s all about the same anymore); crack open an extra-large bottle of your favorite booze; do a shot every time a “reporter” says “(Famous entertainer) has announced on Twitter …”; pass out drunk within 15 minutes. It’s become a primary news source (just ask Sarah Palin) and celebrities only have to muster up the energy to type 140 characters, something even Miley can do in a salvia stupor. While we hope journalists are double-checking facts through more official channels, when we hear Tweets used as news sources, it sounds about as trustworthy as Wolf Blitzer saying, “And this just texted to me by my 12-year-old niece: Peace talks have finally worked and Israeli and Palestinian leaders have agreed to form one unified country called JewMuslIsraeliStan.”



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