This Week in Predictability
The musical universe was in perfect order Thanksgiving week. Willie Nelson was busted on his tour bus for marijuana possession by U.S. Border Patrol in Texas. The cop said he smelled pot when the bus door opened (though, if fishing for reasonable cause for a search, he could have just gone with “It was Willie Nelson’s tour bus”). Kanye West continued speaking or tweeting every single thought that entered his head and experienced the general public’s growing disdain for his cocky, self-absorbed rants when some of the tourists and families watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving parade in NYC reacted to being blessed with his extraordinary genius by booing and encouraging Kanye to jump off of his giant apple float. Has anyone thought to check Kanye’s backyard for the remains of his agent and publicist? And — newsflash! — Axl Rose doesn’t like Slash. The Guns ’N Roses braintrust filed a $20 million lawsuit against the makers of the Guitar Hero video game for including the original guitarist in the GNR game instead of whatever guitar player is stuck in Axl’s revolving door this week. Though, to be fair, taking that job is fairly heroic.
BitTorrents on Thin ICE
Unless you are gay, use drugs, decide to not keep your baby, are in the country “illegally” or otherwise operate outside of the traditional Christian family values this country was founded upon, the Tea Party wants government out of Americans’ everyday lives.
Out With the Old, In With the Poo
The Super Bowl halftime show has featured legitimately legendary musical performers the past several years, a response to the silly backlash that followed Janet Jackson’s tepid “boob flash” stunt. But six years have past and the NFL is apparently ready to break from the “mature” artists who likely couldn’t find their genitals, let alone whip them out on national TV. If a famed (possibly doctored) Internet photo is any indication, Fergie has been known to piss her pants on stage (something those aging stars have likely learned to hide by being prepared and wearing adult diapers), but the Black Eyed Peas innocuous, lowest-common-denominator Pop and whorish commercialism makes them a safe transition from the vintage acts. Perhaps booking the Peas for this year’s Super Bowl show will help the NFL tap into a younger, more desirable target market, but, for older fans with slightly more discerning tastes, the booking marks the return of halftime traditions like beer runs, nacho gouging and seeing what else is on TV.