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Nov. 3-9: Worst Week Ever!

By Danny Cross · November 10th, 2010 · Worst Week Ever!
WEDNESDAY NOV. 3

If there's one thing that we at WWE! hope never happens, it's a high-powered local Republican suing us (seriously, how good could CityBeat's lawyers be if the paper is free?). That's why we have a well-documented history of treating local lawyer Eric Deters with respect, as he has demonstrated a willingness to file multiple lawsuits against people who say bad things about him, according to The Enquirer.

Deters, who is a WLW radio personality and owns a bar in Covington called Bulldogs's (allegedly), today filed at least his third suit against Kenton County Attorney Rob Sanders for libel (according to The Enquirer; no judgments). The most recent suit claims that Sanders defamed Deters by calling him a bad lawyer on Twitter, which we assume is untrue based on how many lawsuits he's successfully filed.

THURSDAY NOV. 4

If you've driven past the University of Cincinnati's College of Design Architecture, Art and Planning any time during the last 10 years, it's likely that you responded to the site of its multi-shaped and pastel-colored exterior by saying something like, “Dang, that is a weird-ass building.” The Enquirer reported today that starting next year the DAAP building will undergo a major exterior renovation, due to several people inside it saying things like, “What the hell is all this water doing in here?” The $35 million building has been leaking for several years, and architects say the plan is to replace the exterior with aluminum panels to route the water outside and replace the roof with whatever material they can find that looks most like a spaceship.

FRIDAY NOV. 5

It's been two days since Republicans took control via their mandate-proving majority in one of the three parts of the federal government, and President Obama still has not admitted he's going to change the country back to its pre-Pelosi days. Luckily there are knowledgable public servants like Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, who today said the White House and congressional Democrats will need to completely adhere to the vision of government that misguided white people 2010 voters want or else face staunch opposition from Republicans 4-life.

McConnell specifically cited health care reform as one item Republicans demand be changed back and then argued that one Republican is physically stronger than two Democrats.


SATURDAY NOV. 6

There are some things you just don't ask a Baby Boomer to do — try asking one to take even the slightest tug on Superman's cape and he's likely to give you a very strange look. Despite their old-school convictions, a new report suggests that it's time for family members of Baby Boomers to begin respectfully limiting their parents' driving privileges. According to the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety, the number of drivers older than 70 is growing rapidly, as is the likelihood that such drivers will crash their cars. Experts for auto club AAA warn that taking away a Baby Boomer's keys should be done with consideration for the generation's immense contributions to society and suggest Xbox 360 as a more reasonable way for them to pretend like they can still do things.

SUNDAY NOV. 7

Sometimes it's difficult for those of us on the outside of Hamilton County's most affluent communities to take their problems seriously, so we try to put ourselves in their shoes any time we can (generally golf shoes, usually while drunk). That's why today's report of Terrace Park officials growing increasingly concerned with the use of golf carts on public streets hit close to home (and not just because we know how difficult they are to control after six beers).

Village officials are considering new laws to regulate the carts after reports of kids driving them while standing up and others driving them in the dark without lights on. Councilman Stefan Olson said he is particularly concerned about a group of teenagers allegedly preparing to ghostride their dad's golf whip and said he is determined to figure out what that means and stop it.

MONDAY NOV. 8

Normally when a public official wins an election, he or she takes a little bit of time before blasting on their opponents — even George W. Bush took a break in 2004 from referring to John Kerry as "Swiftboat Dude" simply out of respect for the office. Newly elected Ohio Gov. John Kasich last week showed no such mercy, declaring less than 12 hours after his election win that Ohio's federally subsidized high-speed rail project was dead. Kasich today mailed letters to both Gov. Ted Strickland and President Obama telling Strickland to cancel all his rail plans and Obama to give Ohio the rail money for roads, warning that should he award Ohio's rail funding to another state Kasich will make Ohio's economy suck so bad there's no way it will vote for Obama in 2012.


TUESDAY NOV. 9

Everybody knows that the worst part of flying isn't watching the Earth fade away as if it makes sense for dozens of humans to be flying through the air in a giant machine — rather it's sitting through more than one connection without the use of Wi-Fi onboard. Delta Airlines announced today that those who fly during the holidays this year will have free WiFi should their aircraft be equipped with it. Delta says the service, which normally costs $11 per flight and includes a free log-in to www.theresnowaythisplanewillcrash.com, is a token of appreciation to its customers and a good way for them to kill time between takeoff and the tiny window of opportunity they'll have to use the bathroom on most domestic flights.


NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE: dcross@citybeat.com


 
 
 
 

 

 
11.10.2010 at 04:16 Reply
dannyboy may your soul burn in the hottest part of hell for your total disrespect for an elder generation.what will your kids say about you and will they take away your rights at age 60 or so

 

 
 
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