Whoring Without a Pimp
It appears we’re just getting started when it comes to crazy marketing schemes and “package deals” designed to help musical acts fund their careers. Pledge Music has been connecting musicians with fans to help them actually make some money in today’s download-crazy music world, and there appears to be no limit to the “special offers” artists are using to solicit donations.
Post Punk pioneers Gang of Four raised enough through Pledge to put out a new record, but it’s costing them more than just proverbial “blood, sweat and tears” — the band is promising a vial of the members’ actual blood with a deluxe version of the release. Other artists are offering dinner, living room concerts, a chance to sing backup on a recording and rehearsal access, while New York rapper/DJ Princess Superstar is even offering a “private burlesque striptease” for a mere $10,000.
Meanwhile, the guys from Backstreet Boys will wash your car for $10.99. Not through Pledge — that’s just their job now.
It takes a lot to challenge Lady Gaga for the MTV Video Music Awards’ “most ridiculous outfit” trophy, but Black Eyed Peas’ Will.I.Am came pretty close to trumping Gaga’s meat-dress (which outraged animal rights groups and aroused bacon-lovers) by sporting a futuristic, all-black, head-to-toe get-up that made him look like a charred mannequin or Blue Man Group member after a body-paint mix-up.
Even more ridiculous was the reaction of some online “pundits” who scorned the performer for wearing “blackface,” as if he was doing some sort of 19th-century minstrel-show shuck ’n jive
Houses of the … Holy Shit, That’s Expensive!
Led Zeppelin guitarist Jimmy Page has had an amazing life, and — with his alleged experimentation with Satanism, drugs and baby-shark sex toys — his mysterious life story has never been fully been told. So an autobiography from the Rock & Roll pioneer would probably be a hot commodity for fans of music lore. But will they pay close to $700 for it?
The book, due Sept. 27, is a “photographic autobiography” (which just sounds lazy to us) that is “leather and perspex-bound … with its own silk and leather slipcase.” And each copy of the limited-edition run of 2,500 will be autographed by Page. Those wanting something a little more informative and affordable might have to wait a while — Page says he wants his memoirs published posthumously. Presumably so he can make fun of all the people who spent $700 for his picture book without feeling too guilty about it.