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Portman Dumped, Cabrel Puts You in the Mood and McCartney Still Dead

By Staff · June 23rd, 2010 · Minimum Gauge


Natalie Portman Shunned!

Probably due to being sick of waiting for the promo boost of a V For Vendetta film sequel, one of the best-named bands in Indie Rock has changed its name: Seattle’s Natalie Portman’s Shaved Head has decided to drop its unusual moniker for the far more boring Brite Futures.

Perhaps a band called Natalie Portman’s Shaved Head could never be a truly “big” band like U2 (shhh … nobody tell Anna Paquin’s Gap Teeth!), but who’s to say? The band members had some fun with the name change with a very funny fake video “interview” with Portman (using clips from the movie Closer). Check it out at www.britefuturesforever.com.


Francis Cabrel Will Get You Laid (Usually)

Next time you head to a bar to pick up chicks, you might want to bring along your iPod, an extra set of earbuds and a playlist loaded with the “romantic ballads” of Kenny G, Barry White and, most importantly, French singer/songwriter Francis Cabrel.

Although already confirmed in that scene in about 16,000 Hollywood romantic comedies where the horny dude sneaks away to put “Let’s Get It On” on the stereo, a recent study by French researchers confirmed that cheesy love ballads will get you laid.

The research was a bit like a hidden-camera prank show, as different female participants were forced to sit in a waiting area and listen to different songs — some heard a “romantic” one by Cabrel and others were played a “neutral” one by another French singer — then were sent to another room and asked questions about a food product with a fake male “research participant.” Then the male “plants” hit on the women.

The study found that 52 percent of the women who listened to the romantic song gave up their digits, while only 28 percent of the ladies who listened to the neutral song gave into the advances.


Paul, Still Dead!

It’s weird enough to imagine there are people in the world who think the President of the United States is an African-born Muslim out to destroy America. There are even crazier crazies who think that one of the most famous people alive doesn’t actually exist.

The “Paul is dead” myth is a humorous piece of Beatles lore, with fans and/or obsessives finding supposed clues about Paul McCartney’s death since the Fab Four’s heyday. Now a “documentary” film called Paul McCartney Really Is Dead: The Last Testament of George Harrison is trying to bring the conspiracy back into the public’s consciousness, with the filmmakers claiming to have audio recordings that Harrison (actually dead) anonymously sent to them confirming his old bandmate’s demise. (The validity of the recordings has, unshockingly, not been verified.)

The story is full of doozies, but one of the more outlandish claims is that McCartney’s ex-wife Heather Mills was involved in Macca’s fatal car crash (two years before she was born) and used that as leverage to get the fake Paul to marry her. Also, the Walrus was Gary Coleman.



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