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Jon & Kate Aren't Great

By Larry Gross · March 17th, 2010 · Living Out Loud
Believe me, I never thought I’d be writing a column about divorced parents Jon and Kate Gosselin, but strange things do happen. I’ve just about had enough of these two idiots.

It was probably a couple years ago when I first became aware of them. One spring afternoon, my daughter and I were going to get some lunch at the Frisch’s on Glenway Avenue and I was at her place waiting for her to get ready. The television set was on.

I saw all these little kids running around outside this house and the parents were talking to them and then to a television camera. It all seemed a little too cute to me.

My daughter watched some of the show with me, said the eight kids were a set of twins and sextuplets. She told me Jon & Kate Plus 8 was one of her favorite shows.

I can’t remember if I said it to myself or out loud that I felt sorry for those kids whose every move was recorded with television cameras, but at the time it didn’t matter much to me. My daughter turned off the TV and I didn’t give anymore thought to Jon and Kate and those kids.

But for the past year the media has more or less rubbed then in my face. Since I work in media, part of my job is to pay attention to what’s in the news and what’s going on around me. I don’t know if the goings-on of these two parents is news, but a lot of the media thinks so.

There isn’t a week — and sometimes not even a day — that goes by that I don’t read something about Jon and Kate Gosselin.

In April of 2009, Jon reportedly had an affair. That’s when the shit, more or less, hit the fan. None of the following is in any particular order, but let the tabloid journalism begin.

The couple denied the affair allegations, but it was caught on tape. Then Kate was having an affair with her bodyguard.

She said it wasn’t true.

Then Jon had another affair. Kate went crying on Larry King Live. Jon moved out of the house into a bachelor pad in New York. The tabloids said Kate was upset.

Jon had wild parties. Kate went on The View.

Kate wanted to continue the television series on her own. Lawyers for Jon delivered letters to the network televising the series telling them to cease and desist. Production crews were barred from their Pennsylvania property. Things got ugly.

Doesn’t exactly sound like Family Ties does it?

I find all of this so-called “news” annoying, but what’s bugging me a little now is the Plus 8 have all but been forgotten. I mean, who’s watching the kids? The focus is now on those “fascinating” parents.

Kate Gosselin is being featured on another reality television show, Dancing with the Stars, and this leads me to want to ask her some questions.

Kate, do you really consider yourself a star? Is this really what you wanted all along? Who’s putting your kids to bed at night? We know it’s not Jon. He’s too busy screwing around.

The news lately with Jon Gosselin is that he just recently turned down doing a spread for Playgirl magazine. He was going to get paid $20,000 for some nude shoots. In a report, it states that Jon has a small penis and was going to get an additional $10,000 for every “inch” beyond 4.

Really, honest to God. Do a Google search. You can’t make this shit up. While he had the commonsense to turn the offer down, this still leads me to want to ask Jon some questions, too.

Jon, why did you even consider the offer? Do you want your children to find out the size of your penis? Do you realize this sort of publicity turns you into a laughingstock?

I know I won’t ever get to ask any of these questions to Jon and Kate as yet new “news” continues to circulate.

Apparently, Jon and Kate have settled their various lawsuits against each other and talks are underway to bring their reality show back from the dead.

When this happens, and no doubt it will, the show won’t really be about raising their kids. It won’t be about them trying to be good parents even as they go their separate ways. It’s simply going to be about putting money in their damn pockets.

Jon & Kate Plus 8 is a cash cow for the network that carries it and also for those greedy, divorced parents. It’s about the money. It’s sickening.

It’s probably time I get together with my daughter and discuss this Jon and Kate bullshit with her — maybe go to that Frisch’s on Glenway again and get her take on this. I mean she really liked their show and I wonder if she’s disappointed with the Plus 8 parents.

She’s all grown up now and so is my son. While maybe I wasn’t the greatest parent in the world, at least I didn’t try to make money off my kids. At least I didn’t try to exploit them the way Jon and Kate have done to theirs.

I wonder if my daughter will think Jon and Kate have turned into bad, selfish people. I certainly do. To my way of thinking, Jon and Kate aren’t great. They’re not great at all.

CONTACT LARRY GROSS: lgross@citybeat.com



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