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Vatican Tunes and Carnival Blues

By Staff · February 17th, 2010 · Minimum Gauge


If the Vatican’s Rockin’, Don’t Come Knockin’
Someone in the Vatican is either a little bit nutty or The Pope and Co. have hired somebody to “cool” things up and make them seem hip to the youngsters. Of course, “cool” is in the eye of the beholder. After blessing a Vatican MySpace site that featured a list of apparently Pope-endorsed songs that included ones by 2Pac and Fleet Foxes, the Vatican newspaper/Web site The Holy See recently released another list of “good/Godly” Pop songs.

Though they call it a “semiserious” list (a “desert island”-type situation), one thing is for certain: God is a baby boomer. How else can one explain David Crosby’s “If I Could Only Remember My Name” ranking No. 2? Hey! Didn’t that dude circumvent God’s nature by impregnating Melissa Etheridge?

Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” was also included.

Hmmm, wonder what those two entities have in common? Besides a love of llamas, of course …


What Would Jesus Grant Licenses To?
We’re not sure if it’s because it’s offensive to Jesus or Andrew Lloyd Weber (or both … double blasphemy!), but ElectroRock/Rap tigress Peaches has had to cancel her planned “one-woman” performance of Jesus Christ Superstar in Germany after being denied by the musical’s rights-holders over there. Peaches says she’s just a superfan of the show and music and wants to pay tribute in a “stripped-down” way. “Stripped down” could be taken a few ways, if you’re familiar with Peaches’ raunchy music and stage show, so perhaps that’s why she was reportedly told the anticipated “unconventional form” of the presentation didn’t interest the rights-holders.

Peaches’ Plan B is a one-woman puppet show version of The Lion King. Co-creator Elton John isn’t likely to disapprove, even if (especially if?) Simba is played by a giant dildo.


Crazy Party Music Banned From Crazy Party
Like telling Jackson Pollock to paint in straight lines or the cast of Jersey Shore to not be stupid, a mayor of a town in Brazil has announced a ban on Rap and Funk music during the quaint tea party that is Brazilian Carnival. The mayor told a Brazilian TV station he was banning songs that referenced violence or disrespect of authority.

Offenders would have two options: turn it off or go to jail for up to six months. Funk music is reportedly one of Brazil’s No. 1 public enemies, because gangs that use parties to sell drugs listen to it. If that were the only criteria for “dangerous music,” the only music being played in public would be Christian Rock and Polka (and even then you’d have to worry about the stray heroin-pushing accordionist).



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