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Lilith Fair, Cougar Jr. and Corgan Goes Slummin'

By Mike Breen · December 16th, 2009 · Minimum Gauge

[HOT]

Lilith Resurrection
Huh, women apparently still have music careers. Who knew? Word leaked a few weeks ago that one of the biggest touring festivals of the ’90s, the Lilith Fair, was planning a comeback run. Now tour stops have been booked and initial participants have been announced. In a show of similar nostalgic spirit, here’s hoping the H.O.R.D.E. festival returns soon as well, to remind us all that hippies still smell bad and the members of Spin Doctors and Blues Traveler are actually still alive.

Lilith performers announced so far include A Fine Frenzy, Brandi Carlile, Butterfly Boucher, Chairlift, Chantal Kreviazuk, Colbie Caillat, Corinne Bailey Rae, Emmylou Harris, Erykah Badu, Grace Potter and The Nocturnals, Indigo Girls, Ingrid Michaelson, Jill Scott, Mary J. Blige, Metric, Miranda Lambert, Sara Bareilles, Sheryl Crow, Sugarland, Tegan and Sara, The Submarines, The Weepies and Zee Avi. Co-founder and still-organizer Sarah McLachlan will also perform, closing each concert out by performing “Angel” and holding a gun to the head of a puppy, threatening to pull the trigger if concertgoers don’t agree to cough up $18 a month (just 60 cents a day!) for the ASPCA.

[WARM]

Pee Wee Cougar’s Big Intervention
The son of Johnny Cougar (aka “John Mellencamp”) isn’t in any hurry to collect his sure-to-be-huge inheritance check.

His pops can’t be blamed for thinking it might be revenge for naming his kid “Speck,” but 14-year-old Speck Mellencamp’s decision to start a Facebook page designed to get his dad to stop smoking appears to be coming from a genuine place of love (see, even Minimum Gauge’s Grinch-heart can swell during the holidays).

Speck’s page asks Facebookers to join, and if a million people do the legendary rocker has apparently agreed to deal with his longtime nicotine habit. According to Speck, Cougar Sr. didn’t take the initial proposal too seriously (perhaps due to the fact that the “I Bet I Can Find 10 Billion People Who Think Sarah Palin Is an Idiot” page has only registered 8 billion people so far), but he has since agreed to the deal, noting that if the page reached a million members and someone caught him smoking he’d feel like a real douchebag.

Perhaps Speck has unintentionally discovered the ultimate addiction cure: Who needs AA when you have shame, guilt and embarrassment? (At press time, the page had just under a quarter-million members.) Ever the older brother, Cougar’s other son Hud gave Speck a nipple-twister and started the Facebook page “My Brother Will Stop Being Such a Yeast-Dicked Little Turd Wrangler If I Get 20 People to Join.”

[COLD]

Mellons Jolly and the Infinite Madness
Perhaps taking lessons from pal Courtney Love, Billy Corgan has discovered a way to remain newsworthy without releasing a lick of new and/or good music. He’s dating Jessica Simpson.

Gossip columns, sites and shows have been searching for reasons why the Smashing Pumpkins leader would date the blonde bombshell, who's more than a dozen years younger. Uh, we spotted two huge reasons right up front. Other possibilities: He’s just using her to get closer to Pete Wentz; no one else seems to understand/care what he’s on about and Jessica thinks he’s “all smart and junk”; she reminds him of a pretty D’arcy; she doesn’t know what “artistic integrity” even means; had her mixed up with Valerie Simpson of Ashford & Simpson; he’s also wondered what kind of chicken lives in the sea; and Nick Lachey married her and now does commercials for Cincinnati Bell, a lifelong dream of Corgan’s.

 
 
 
 

 

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