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Farm Report, Cobain and A Very Bondage Christmas

By Staff · September 16th, 2009 · Minimum Gauge
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[HOT]

FARM REPORT

We here at Mini Gauge love a good prank. We’re seriously bummed about the proliferation of caller ID because we can no longer telephone our editor at 4 a.m. and tell him we’re a leader of a right-wing conservative group planning a “Tea Party” in his backyard. But those with more initiative can still spin a good trick or two without getting caught right away. San Diego band Cattle Decapitation (apparently a Metal band despite its Smooth-Jazz-sounding name) caused a stir recently when it began circulating fake news reports about a mass murderer who was burying his victims in his backyard garden. The straight-faced report also claimed that police found Cattle Decapitation’s CD, The Harvest Floor, featuring the song “A Body Farm,” in the man’s home. Meanwhile, The Jonas Brothers informed the media that, as a joke, they paid Kanye West $50 to harass Taylor Swift at the MTV Video Music Awards.

[WARM]

KURT COBAIN KONTROVERSY

The Beatles new video game is getting all the press, but more grumbling has been emerging over the use of Nirvana’s (specifically, Kurt Cobain’s) image in the latest Guitar Hero game.

After some Web outlets began crying blasphemy upon discovering that the game’s Cobain character could be “unlocked,” allowing users to have Kurt front Bon Jovi or become Billy Idol or Flavor Flav, Courtney Love went ape shit and used Twitter to announce that she never agreed to that aspect. She also seemed to blame Nirvana drummer/Foo Fighters frontman Dave Grohl for agreeing to the ridiculous game feature. Grohl and Nirvana bassist Krist Novoselic noted that Love is the only person allowed to make decisions about the use of Kurt’s image. I guess that means that long-awaited Kurt Cobain Dream Barbie with interchangeable ripped jeans and track-mark stickers will never hit shelves. Maybe it’s for the best — we totally would have put him in a girl’s bathing suit and had him make out with Ken.

[COLD]

AND A LEATHER BONDAGE CHOKER IN A PEAR TREE...

A few weeks back we told you about the unlikely news that Bob Dylan was preparing a Christmas album for this upcoming season. We thought that was about as strange as it could get — outside of maybe a Matisyahu Christmas album — until we heard the latest what-the-fuck holiday album news. Rob Halford, the openly gay frontman for Heavy Metal icons Judas Priest (and the Metal scene’s seemingly only spokesperson for acceptance and tolerance of homosexuality) has reportedly completed Halford 3: Winter Songs, a collection of newly-crafted tunes and vintage chestnuts about Christmastime. Unless there are tracks like “All I Want for Christmas Is Some Assless Chaps,” we’ll just pretend this never happened.

 
 
 
 

 

 
 
 
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