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Aerosmith Comes up Lame, Michael Jackson Is Famous and Mami Is a Daddy

By Mike Breen · July 8th, 2009 · Minimum Gauge


Dude Looks Like He’s Agin’ …

When the Aerosmith/ZZ Top concert at Riverbend was postponed last week due to an “unspecified” injury to one of the band members, our first thought was “beard injury.” Alas, it appears ZZ’s Billy Gibbons did not get his famous facial hair stuck in a toaster.

While at press time no official announcement has been made about the injury (or about promised rescheduling plans), Reuters reported that fans at the show before Aerosmith’s Cincinnati stop said it looked like singer Steven Tyler pulled a leg muscle during the performance. The band was slated to resume the tour this week with the return of both Tyler and guitarist Brad Whitford, who had the very Rock & Roll injury of requiring surgery “after bumping his head while exiting his Ferrari,” according to RollingStone.com.


King Rips The King

Adding to the barrage of “Michael Jackson is dead” coverage (as of press time, he was indeed still dead) recently was U.S.

Rep. Peter King (R-New York), who went on a rant about … the barrage of MJ coverage in the news. Speaking outside of an American Legion hall in New York, King pulled no punches: “This low-life, Michael Jackson … is all over the newspaper, television, radio. Let’s knock out the psychobabble. He was a pervert, a child molester, he was a pedophile. And to be giving this much coverage to him, day in and day out, what does it say about us as a country?”

King forgets two important factors: 1) MJ was acquitted of kid-diddling charges four years ago and 2) MJ has been one of the most famous people in the world for about 30 years now. King said there are more important things going on, and in this case he’s totally right — Sarah Palin’s bumbling resignation as Alaska’s governor, the (so far) success of the withdrawal of U.S. troops from George Bush & Co.’s disastrous war in Iraq and the further idiotic actions of still-South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford. Oh, did we mention King was a Republican? Did we have to?


I (Don’t) Want My Mami

There’s been a lot of speculation about Jackson’s weird behavior, but he’s got nothing on Algerian Pop star Cheb Mami, best known in the U.S. as “that foreign dude who dueted with Sting” on the 2000 hit “Desert Rose.” Mami was arrested in France and recently sentenced to five years in jail after being found guilty of forcing an abortion on his girlfriend.

The girlfriend was kidnapped in 2005 after informing Mami she was pregnant; she was allegedly drugged and taken to Mami’s house, where a small group of people attempted and failed to perform an abortion on her (she had the baby in 2006).

Wonder what Congressman King has to say about this guy. “Forced abortion” has to rank up there with “Hollywood elite,” “Al Franken” and “taxes” on the GOP’s most evil list.



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