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Aerosmith 'Toys,' Evan Dando & GM and Poison's Indignity

By Staff · June 10th, 2009 · Minimum Gauge

[HOT]

AEROSMITH TO DO “TOYS”
Rock & Roll Hall of Famers Aerosmith have had the most impressive second act in Rock history. Of course, the second half of their career has been full of shitty, overproduced ballads and fauxrockers, but still, they’ve made way more money in the past 20 years than they did when they were a genuinely amazing Rock & Roll band. It looks like Steven Tyler and the boys might even realize that fact, having recently announced that they would play the landmark, instant-classic album Toys in the Attic in its entirety on the band’s forthcoming summer tour with ZZ Top (hitting Riverbend on July 1). Now if they’d just promise to never, ever play “Dude Looks Like a Lady” and “Amazing” again, we might think about going to the show. (Note to Aerosmith: Play Rocks next!)

[WARM]

IT’S A SHAME ABOUT EVAN
Talk about kicking someone in the balls when they’re down! As if General Motors doesn’t have enough to worry about these days (bankruptcy, mocking by Michael Moore, etc.), Evan Dando, frontdude for ’90s greats The Lemonheads, has just sued the car company.

Dando is claiming that GM took his song “It’s a Shame About Ray,” re-recorded it, used it in an ad and never sought permission. Seems a bit like suing a homeless guy, considering the state of GM’s economics. Had Dando filed the suit a month ago, it would make sense — guess he figures he’ll get a little bit of that bailout dough.

Pundits that have compared the two tracks claim it’s a bit of a stretch to even consider the GM jingle a knockoff. And, seriously, if someone wanted to swipe a tune, would The Lemonheads’ spotty discography be the first thing they would think to go after?

[COLD]

THE INDIGNITY OF POISON
OK, we’ve never thought Poison to be, you know, “good” or anything, but some of those earlier songs have a great kitschy “weren’t the ’80s awful” quality. After Bret Michaels signed up to be the piece of meat on that horrible VH1 show, I’m a Prostitute, Get Me Outta Here (or whatever it’s called), we thought he couldn’t get any lower. But, alas, the band’s head-scratching appearance at the Tony Awards recently made him out to be a bigger fool than even crazy guitarist dude, CC.

Apparently some idiot thought it would be a good idea to make a Broadway musical based around ’80s Hair Metal (what’s next, a musical based on crappy Billy Joel songs? Oh, wait …), which is why Bret and Co. were playing the opening number at the Tonys. As the band finished up “Nothin’ But a Good Time” with the cast from the stage show Rock of Ages, Bret was clobbered by a giant stage-set lowered from the rafters. Fear not — he did not break his nose, according to reports. Hopefully his ego took a big hit, though. Yet another example of why Rock & Roll and Broadway musicals simply do not belong together.


 
 
 
 

 

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