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Kenny Rogers, AC/DC and Boobs

By Staff · April 1st, 2009 · Minimum Gauge
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[HOT]

KNOWS WHEN TO HOLD THEM, FOLD THEM, HEAL THEM

Besides his numerous hit singles over the years, Kenny Rogers has given society a lot. He gave the world great roasted chicken. He made grey hair cool way before Anderson Cooper. And his more recent attempts to warn against the potential ill effects of plastic surgery have been incredibly noble. (That last one was largely unintentional, but unless you want to look like a wax figure version of yourself, looking at Kenny’s tightened visage should scare you away from Botox for life.) Further making the case that he indeed is the “Most Important Entertainer Ever in the History of the World,” London researchers recently discovered that merely playing Kenny’s music might help stroke victims. The researchers found that stimulating a stroke victim’s brain by playing music helped them even out their spatial awareness, according to a story on Wired. Researchers are said to be considering calling the phenomenon “The Kenny Rogers Effect,” because patients responded to Rogers’ music more than other selections offered, including tunes by Frank Sinatra and the Flying Burrito Brothers Band.

[WARM]

FOR THOSE ABOUT TO CRITICIZE BARACK OBAMA’S ECONOMIC STIMULUS PLAN …

Czech prime minister Mirek Topolanek had AC/DC on the brain when he made controversial remarks regarding the U.S.’s plans to right our wobbly economic ship.

The PM recently admitted he was probably inspired by an AC/DC concert in Prague he attended not long ago, which led him to compare Obama’s plan to a “road to hell.” Topolanek lost his job following (but reportedly not because of) his remarks. “I mean, hell’s bells, I just want the world’s economy to be back in black,” he may or may not have later said. “Obama’s got big balls. Hillary Clinton’s got big balls. But Czechs have the biggest balls of them all.” It could have been worse — he could have gone to see Black Eyed Peas and compared the plan to “lovely lady speed lumps” in the way of a global economic rebound.

[COLD]

BOOBS ARE NOT RECESSION-PROOF

The music print media world lost its horny, vapid little brother when it was announced that Blender magazine — a music-related offshoot of “men’s magazine” Maxim — would publish no more. The announcement of the demise of the porn/celebrity-journalism-disguised-as-a-music-magazine publication was made after someone pointed out that you can watch porn and read about music at the same time online for free.

ALSO CRAZY IN CYBER SPACE

If there was a way to vomit on someone by using Twitter, you can bet your ass Courtney Love would be the first one to do it. The always-reliable “bad girl” recently made news by becoming the center of what some are saying is the first libel-by-Twitter-post lawsuit. A fashion designer is claiming that Love launched a smear campaign by using the online social network to call the designer a drug addict and a prostitute. She says Love turned on her after she was billed for custom clothing. We hear Court’s already got three felonies in Second Life and she is awaiting trial for lewd and excessive “poking” on Facebook.

 
 
 
 

 

 
 
 
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