So I was sorting through a folder of paperwork last weekend in order to get an early jump on my tax return. Taxes, what a joke.
First off, the 1040 instructions are nuts. How is anyone who’s not a CPA supposed to figure out what the hell they’re talking about?
It doesn’t matter anyway. I’ll do the best I can wading through the legalese and being honest with my deductions, and the IRS will still probably audit me. They’re always out to get the little guy.
And why should I be honest? Only suckers are honest.
Timothy Geithner wasn’t honest on his taxes, and everyone let him skate because Congress needed him to be Treasury Secretary so he could save the financial world from collapsing. See, if you’re politically connected you can pretty much do anything you want. Everyone knows that.
Former Sen. Tom Daschle didn’t pay his taxes either, and he withdrew from consideration as Secretary of Health and Human Services. Big deal. He goes back his to $2 million-a-year lobbying job and his $15,000-a-speech traveling gig. Ooooh, how will he make ends meet?
Big shots like Geithner and Daschle don’t pay their taxes, and what happens? Nothing.
You and I don’t pay our taxes, and the IRS hunts us down and takes our homes. What a racket.
President Obama ran his campaign on the themes of “hope” and “change,” and he was pretty convincing. Hell, he won the election. I still can’t believe it.
After eight years of George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Karl Rove, Donald Rumsfeld, Paul Wolfowitz and all those other criminals, how could the American people actually think that Obama would be different? That he’d be a positive president and not spy on citizens, torture prisoners of war, lie about everything and alienate the entire world?
I mean, all politicians are the same. Come on. There’s something inherently wrong with a person who opens his family and his life to public scrutiny, derision and attack just so he can win some stupid election and have some crummy job.
Candidates always say they want to help people and protect people, but it’s a load of crap. Who has time to help people? Let everyone take care of themselves, that’s what I say.
There are only two reasons someone goes into politics: Either you get off on seeing your face plastered on 20-foot-high billboards and everyone fawning all over you, or you want to grab as much cash as possible by trading political favors for kickbacks. Usually it’s both.
Just look at the economic stimulus plan being pushed through Congress. Good ol’ boy politicians are sending hundreds of billions of dollars of our money to their friends on Wall Street, who turn around and use it to redecorate their office bathrooms and buy other banks.
Hope? Change? Nah, sounds like too much work.
I prefer to just sit around, bitch, moan and be cynical. After all, a cynic is never disappointed.
CONTACT JOHN FOX: firstname.lastname@example.org