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Pumped Up as Folk

Jake Speed -

By Jake Speed · May 10th, 2006 · Speedy Delivery
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Notes: One of my songwriting missions involves singing out against injustice. This week's song strikes out against the media's refusal to cover the out-of-control steroid use that's driving a hammer through American Folk music. If the media doesn't quit wasting its time on baseball players and start attempting to put a cork in this Folk music 'roids use, then we'll all be bombarded

with beefed up Bob Dylans who have lungs like horses and are able to blow on harmonicas for days.

Pumped Up as Folk
4/24/06 Click here to hear "Pumped Up as Folk"

Woke up and hammered out another Folk song

It's the seven hundred and 15th one

That's a record-setting number for a 28 year-old boy

And I wrote every one while hopped up on steroids

I've penned more tunes than Babe Ruth ever did

And Hammerin' Hank Aaron, Lord I'm closing in on him

And every single note was enhanced by 'roids

But I can't even get my name into the tabloids

Put my name in lights

I deserve the press

I'm a steroid-using folksinger

I'm a mess

Put my name in lights

It's just not fair

I cheated just as bad

As all the famous baseball players

I wrote a few Folk songs when I was quite young

But after taking steroids, the songs just kept coming

I'm not proud, but I'd like to come clean

And I'd like to do it live in concert on national TV

Where's my interview? Where's my subpoena?

Congress, did you somehow forget about me?

Won't someone write a book that exposes all my lies

And get my name in bold in all the headlines

Put my name in lights

I deserve to be accused

I sold my soul to steroids

When I learned to play the Blues

Put my name in lights

It's just not fair

I cheated just as bad

As all the famous baseball players

I'll pitch this question: What's the big deal?

So a guy took some 'roids to hit a ball out of a field

I took 'roids to write all my Folk songs

I'm a one-man Folk revival, that's just sick and wrong

Ladies and Gentlemen, please hear what I say

When your finger feels ready to ridicule and blame

Lay off the ballplayers; they don't need no more

It's the steroid-popping folksingers that want your scorn

Put my name in lights

Make sure I'm belittled

I took a double 'roids

To learn the banjo and the fiddle

Put my name in lights

It's just not fair

I cheated just as bad

As all the famous baseball players

 
 
 
 

 

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