In the preface to his book, Fart Proudly, a collection of Benjamin Franklin's lesser-known writings, editor Carl Japikse argues that the media have allowed themselves to be "censored by the horrid specter of social conformity and niceness." In the afterword, he states that to protest against this de facto abridgment of the First Amendment, good citizens everywhere should, "Fart for freedom, fart for liberty - and fart proudly."

Sorry, Carl, but the people at Smart Beep pager service have performed the real American civic exercise: "Farting for profit." In their most recent ad, a clean-cut twentysomething man on a blind date escorts a beautiful lady to his car. As soon as he closes the passenger-side door, she leans over and breaks wind with enough gusto and noise to make Howard Stern blush. But being a lady, she quickly regains her composure before her date enters from the driver's side. Once inside, her date is pleased to introduce her to - surprise! - Janice and Greg in the back seat, witnesses to and victims of her flatulent faux pas.

"That was stupid!" the announcer says dryly before making a pitch for Smart Beep.

Well, I think the First Amendment is safe for another year because Grant Sibley, the very busy vice president of Smart Beep reports that the home office in Chesapeake, Va., has received hundreds of e-mails from viewers saying it's the funniest commercial they've ever seen. In some cases, people who haven't seen the ad are calling in to find out when it will air. On CBS, Tom Snyder has been touting the ad on his late-night talk show for several weeks. He has replayed the "fart part" in slow motion and has hosted the "fart lady" herself, Clare Soustroum.

An alumna of UCLA, Soustroum has wanted to be in comedy since she was 9 years old and saw the musical, Kiss Me Kate. She remembers, prior to the performance, her family had been quarreling but then got caught up in the show's song and dance. By the time it was over, they were a family again. Years later, with a Screen Actors Guild card in her hand, she went to the Smart Beep audition.

"My agent had signed me up before asking if I approved of the unusual concept," Soustrom said. "She knew I would do it." She arrived at the auditions to see a room crowded with prim and prissy-looking girls. "I cracked up to think what the audition tape would look like with all of these beautiful girls farting. It will probably show up on the Internet someday." It only took three hours to shoot the ad, but Soustrom is hoping the unprecedented publicity will help launch her career into a sitcom or romantic comedy.

Grant Pace, creator of the ad, hopes it will launch his career as well. This is his first effort as president of his own agency, Mercury Advertising. Pace was inspired by an event that happened to his sister several years ago. As the story goes, she and her husband were paying a visit to their local Wal-Mart. As his sister walked through the front door, she thought her husband was right behind her, so as a joke, she let one rip. When she turned around to catch her husband's reaction, she was totally shocked and embarrassed to find not her husband, but the face of a future K-Mart shopper.

Determined he and, at the time, his first and only client would be on good terms this holiday season, Pace made sure there was a Plan B. The result was a backup version in which Soustrom lets out a belch instead of a bomb. The backup was never needed, but that's no surprise to Pace, who believed all along that the Clinton scandal and movies like There's Something About Mary had prepared viewers.

If you would like to see the "fart lady" ad, you can call up a bootleg version at http://members.xoom.com/herseyc/smartbeep.htm

AD IT UP offers monthly insights and opinions about advertising and its impact on our lives. Send your thoughts to Ryan Thelen at CityBeat, 23 E. Seventh Street, Suite 617, Cincinnati, OH 45202. Or e-mail at letters@citybeat.com

CityBeat, Vol. 5, Issue 6; December 23, 1998 - January 6, 1999