Notes: My dad always refers to Daylight Savings as Daylight 'Losings' because we all lose an hour. (He's like a living Shakespeare the way he can play with words.) While my dad merely jokes about Daylight Savings, I take it quite seriously because it regularly falls on my birthday (as it did this year), robbing me of an invaluable hour of revelry and celebratory merriment. In fact, if I tallied all the birthday hours I've lost to Daylight Savings, it'd probably total one entire day, which means I'm actually only turning 27 this year. Or something like that. Remember: I'm not a mathematician. I whole-heartedly blame Ben Franklin for all the missed birthday opportunities I've had because supposedly he introduced the concept to America.
Daylight Loser
- Click to "Hear Daylight Loser"
4/2/06
I had plans to win the war,
cure cancer work in the Peace Corps
clean up the river get cats outta trees
help an old lady cross the street
I was gonna donate a lot of cash
try to make it all the way through an episode of MASH
Help Pete Rose get reinstated
But I'm an hour late 'cause of Daylight Savings
Ben Franklin screwed me over again
Bifocals, I can see it
But Daylight Savings, bad idea
Ben Franklin screwed me over again
Just think of all that could've been
Ben Franklin screwed me over again
My To Do list said 'write a novel'
Run for Mayor, win America's Next Top Model
I had it all planned from 7 to 8
'cause of Daylight Savings, I woke up late
run a marathon, go parachuting
cry on a Barbara Walters interview and
be in a movie with Kevin Bacon
I got denied by Daylight Savings
Ben Franklin screwed me over again
A penny saved is a penny earned
An hour lost, Ben, you're a jerk
Ben Franklin screwed me over again
I could've been the next John Glenn
Ben Franklin screwed me over again
Never got a chance to be a doper
Then clean up and go on Oprah
Daylight Savings totally blew it
Would've been a great VH1 Behind the Music
I could've been the next Bob Dylan
Or Bob Dylan could've been the next me
I'm not even quite sure what that means
I'm writing this song on an hour less sleep
Ben Franklin screwed me over again
He gave us Electricity
Now give us back the hour, please
Ben Franklin screwed me over again
didn't get time to give this song an end
Ben Franklin screwed me