WEDNESDAY 9:30 P.M. Becker, CBS. In the final episode of the series, Chris fears John is going to break up with her, while the rest of the gang wonders how they stayed on the air so long.

THURSDAY 8 P.M. Punk'd, MTV. Ashton and his mates trick Lara Flynn Boyle into actually eating something.

THURSDAY 9 P.M. The Jamie Kennedy Experiment, WBST-TV 64. More hidden camera fun, as Paris Hilton helps Jamie pull a gag on some hotel guests. Later, Jamie leaves a camera in Paris' room, and when she returns with a date ...(you saw that coming back on the cover, right?)

THURSDAY 10 P.M. Bands Reunited, VH-1. OK, it's the second week in a row this program gets a mention, but it's another great subject. This time it's The Alarm. They stormed out of Wales in 1983 with anthems such as "The Stand" and "68 Guns," but sometime in the early '90s, lead singer Mike Peters walked off and never came back. Probably went out to get some smokes ... he'll be back.

SATURDAY 8 A.M. Automobiles, The History Channel. Drafted into WWII, the weird-looking "jeep" forged streams, dug ditches, powered wash tubs and served as a wedding altar. After the war, it became an international sensation. But was the design stolen from its creators?

SATURDAY 9:30 P.M. Alphaville, IFC. Secret agent Lemmy Caution wrecks the main computer in a futuristic city on another planet in this acclaimed 1965 sci-fi film. Twenty years later, three German musicians took the title of the movie for their band name and tossed off new wave hits like "Big in Japan," "Forever Young" and "Do You Want To Dance With Me?" It's all about synergy.

SUNDAY 6 P.M. Super Bowl XXXVIII, CBS. The surprising Carolina Panthers take on the tough New England Patriots, and what's looking to be a defensive struggle, and probably a close game. You know in just 12 years we'll have Super Bowl L. That'll look cool on a logo.

SUNDAY 7 P.M. Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, NBC. In a rather questionable counter-programming move, NBC offers up a marathon of their hit show. So gay guys don't like football? Hmmmm.

MONDAY-FRIDAY 9 P.M. Dennis Miller, CNBC. Looking to be even more Fox-like, CNBC turns the helm over to right-wing funnyman Miller. Yeah, there's clearly a liberal bias in the media. Maybe for a different point of view you can flip over to Hannity and Colmes ... d'oh!

NEWS & NOTES: Friends: The Complete Sixth Season just hit store shelves. Guest stars include Bruce Willis, Elle McPherson and Reese Witherspoon. The latter enjoyed the gig, but still doesn't care much for TV. Special features include a gag reel and a casino-style trivia game. No other real goodies -- but a solid seasons worth of episodes from NBC's soon-to-retire flagship sitcom.