Cincy Beat
cover
listings
humor
news
movies
music
arts & entertainment
dining
classifieds
personals
mediakit
home
Special Sections
volume 7, issue 51; Nov. 8-14, 2001
Search:
Recent Issues:
Issue 50 Issue 49 Issue 48
CityBeat Film Listings
Other Listings
ADVENTURES IN WILD CALIFORNIA -- (Grade: A) MacGillivray Freeman Films makes fine use of the OMNIMAX medium to celebrate the 150th anniversary of California's statehood. Land's natural wonder and man's inspired artifice are the only special effects needed for audiences to sit back for a marvelous virtual adventure.

As the film's overall narrator, Jimmy Smits is the perfect voice of the culture of California cool. California's diverse landscapes provide an inspirational setting. But it's the collection of stories from some of the region's daring souls that capture the mystique that initially lured thrill seekers westward. That California can leave even its most articulate natives disoriented and utterly speechless is rendered in breathtaking detail.

Thanks to the Robert D. Linder Family Omnimax Theatre at the Cincinnati Museum Center, Queen City residents can experience the myriad of California attractions on the wild side. -- ttc (Unrated.)

ALL ACCESS -- (Grade: A) This IMAX feature should come with a disclaimer daring audience members to attempt to sit through the sonic assault of some of contemporary music's best live performers without engaging in head nodding, foot tapping, clapping, dancing, or singing along.

All Access is a departure from IMAX's more educational features. It is a backstage pass with interview segments, sound checks, and roadies setting up the shows. It's all the way LIVE. From Al Green with the Dave Matthews Band to Mary J. Blige alongside Parliament-Funkadelic. Sting to Kid Rock. Sheryl Crow to Rob Thomas with Santana. Macy Gray. BB King with the Roots and Fish. And Moby brings the curtain down.

There's no way to place a value on something like the All Access experience. The price of the ticket guarantees admission into the music.-- ttc (Unrated.)

AMERICAN PIE 2 -- (Grade: D) It's one year later in the life of lovable loser Jim (Jason Biggs) and his pack of buds, who've returned for a lackluster sequel to 1999's American Pie. In a clumsy attempt to reunite the original cast, Pie 2 has Jim and his friends share a beachfront house for the summer. Past girlfriends are nearby. Jim wants to remake himself into a lover-boy worthy of his dream girl, the Czech exchange student Nadia (Shannon Elizabeth), who is coming to visit.

Writer Adam Herz and director James Rogers never manage to recapture the sweet-natured innocence and shameless gross-out humor that made the first Pie such a likable comedy. The youthful spirit and innocent coming-of-age message are gone. More importantly, Pie 2's funny gags -- involving masturbation and urination best described as coitus interruptus -- fail to sustain the film's haphazard storytelling.-- SR (Rated R.)

BANDITS -- (Grade: A) "All you need to make a movie," French filmmaker Jean-Luc Godard once said, "is a girl and a gun." In the case of director Barry Levinson's Bandits, the essential ingredients are a girl, a gun and two bank robbers played by Bruce Willis and Billy Bob Thornton. As "The Sleepover Bandits," Joe (Willis) and Terry (Thornton) have a winning plan for robbing banks. They hold a bank manager hostage overnight, then head into the bank with him the next morning for the heist. Everything is running smoothly until a high-strung housewife, Kate Wheeler (Cate Blanchett) joins the team after hitting Terry with her car.

Willis balances charm and tension as the roguish Joe. Thornton puts his nervous energy to good use as the hypochondriac Terry. But Bandits ultimately belongs to Blanchett's performance as the quirky, mysterious woman who comes between the criminal pals. -- SR (Rated PG-13.)

BONES -- (Grade: C) This Halloween, director Ernest Dickerson and Snoop Dogg try to bring old school horror to the hood. Original Gangsta "OG" Jimmy Bones (Dogg) was murdered back in 1979 and has returned twenty years later to get his revenge. Back in the day, this OG was beloved in the neighborhood, but now there's no love in him or the hood.

Bones plays like The Crow meets Nightmare on Elm Street. Snoop's laid-back appeal is perfect for the flashback sequences where Bones' Robin Hood charm earns sympathy before he becomes a present-day supernatural avenger. If the role had been written with a bit more humor, Snoop could have given Freddy Krueger a run for his money. What you want are the laughs and the cheap thrills. Unfortunately, Bones opts for special effects and a run of the mill conclusion that sets the stage for Bones II: A Family Affair. -- SR (Rated PG-13.)

CORKY ROMANO -- (Grade: D) The marketing campaign asks, "Who is Corky Romano?" The better question would have been, "Does anyone care who Corky Romano is?"

Upon leaving the film, I sure didn't. But for those of you who might, Corky (Chris Kattan) is the black sheep son of known Mafia boss Pops Romano (Peter Falk), called back to the family to help save his father from FBI charges. Problem is, Corky is not cut out for the dirty undercover work. He wears pastels and gives hugs.

Romano is supposed to be a breakout vehicle for Saturday Night Live star Kattan. But, as the adage goes, he's just not quite ready for prime time. Physical comedy might be amusing late night, but it does not sustain a full film. The gags are tiresome and repetitive. And, to be blunt, lame. -- RP (Rated PG-13.)

DON'T SAY A WORD -- (Grade: D) Don't Say A Word is not about a criminal mastermind. The film's Euro-thug villain, played by Sean Bean, does have an array of technological tools at his disposal and a fairly competent team of professionals supporting him. But it's no surprise when they come up short. I feel the same way about director Gary Fleder (Kiss the Girls).

As the film's fatherly hero, Michael Douglas presents the latest in his designer line of white-man-in-moral-jeopardy roles. This time, Douglas solicits the help of a young mental patient (Brittany Murphy) in the search for his kidnapped daughter. Don't Say A Word has the slick commercial sheen and what must have seemed like a high concept story on paper. But the film just lays on the screen instead of coming at us. It doesn't attack our senses, which means it won't leave a lasting impression. -- ttc (Rated R.)

THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS -- (Grade: D) The paper I wrote in sixth grade on Abraham Lincoln, the one that I copied verbatim out of the encyclopedia, was less plagiaristic than The Fast and the Furious. Certainly, there are movie formulas. But the blatant copying of an entire script is out of control. The Fast and the Furious is Point Break. Substitute surfing for street racing, bank-robbing for electronics heists and the Zen-like misunderstood gang leader played by Patrick Swayze for the Zen-like misunderstood gang leader played by Vin Diesel.

Campy bad actor Paul Walker takes Keanu Reeves' role as the dreamy agent who infiltrates the underworld and then gets caught up in it. (It's amazing how both actors' line readings manage to sound exactly the same). Furious does have a few thrilling moments but you'll be too distracted, wondering why it all seems so familiar, to really enjoy them. -- RP (Rated PG-13.)

FROM HELL -- (Grade: C) Directors Albert and Allen Hughes follow in the Grand Guignol tradition for a period thriller that theorizes on the motives and identity of Jack the Ripper. Re-creating the five murders of Whitechapel prostitutes in 1888 London, everything about From Hell is slickly depressing. What's surprising is how little suspense the Hughes brothers are able to build with their Ripper tale.

Johnny Depp is a humanistic center to the violence. He plays Scotland Yard Inspector Abberline, an unorthodox policeman whose psychic powers help him solve the case. Depp's edgy performance matches From Hell's lush production.

Based on Alan Moore and Eddie Campbell's acclaimed graphic novel, From Hell is proof that the Hughes brothers can tell a story different from their gangster dramas, Menace II Society (1993) and Dead Presidents (1995). Can they make a scary movie? That question is still to be answered. -- SR (Rated R.)

GHOST WORLD -- (Grade: A) If the nerdy record collector Seymour (Steve Buscemi) was the only character in the teen comedy Ghost World, the film would still be worth watching. But he's just one of many colorful supporting characters in director Terry Zwigoff's smart teen comedy. The film's heroes are 18-year-old best friends and recent high-school grads, Enid (Thora Birch) and Becky (Scarlett Johansson). These bored and cynical girls will do anything to avoid the world around them. Brought to life by believable performances from Birch and Johansson, Enid and Becky are the most honest of recent teen-age characters found in films like crazy/beautiful, Save the Last Dance and American Pie 2.

Based on the underground comic by Daniel Clowes, Ghost World finds rich satire and heartfelt comedy in a story where nothing seems to happen. With a screenplay co-written by Clowes and Zwigoff, the film focuses on the disappointments in the lives of its insecure and disconnected characters. -- SR (Rated R.)

THE GLASS HOUSE -- (Grade: C) Veteren TV director Daniel Sackheim (Harsh Realm, Judging Amy) makes his feature film debut with this lurid, contemporary, Grimm-like tale scripted by Wesley Strick (Cape Fear, Wolf). The Glass House strives to put a human face on the big bad wolf. Terry Glass (Stellan Skarsgard), a businessman deeply in debt, and his wife, Erin (Diane Lane), a drug-addicted doctor, become the guardians of two orphaned teens (Leelee Sobieski, Trevor Morgan) with a $4 million estate. Once relocated to the teens' glass house in Malibu, the peril begins.

Despite an early nod to the slasher film genre, The Glass House finds its chills and thrills in home interiors. The glass house could have become a larger character in the story. But Sackheim's tale would rather stare at the wolf. Thanks to the leer in Skarsgard's eye, we can't miss his desire to lay with his young lamb. In Hollywood, The Glass House is just the latest version of the same old story. -- ttc (Rated PG-13.)

Greenfingers -- (Grade: C) Clive Owen delivers a heartfelt performance as a prison inmate whose life is changed by cultivating a prison yard garden in writer/director Joel Hershman's likable comedy. A solemn murderer like Colin Briggs (Owen) is the last man you'd expect to have a green thumb. But Briggs' gardening skills are discovered after fellow inmate Fergus Wilks (David Kelly) gives him some violet seeds. Before long, the warden enlists Briggs, Wilks and three other inmates to cultivate the prison's first garden. Their handiwork attracts the attention of a horticulturist (Helen Mirren) who hires the inmates to rehab the gardens at an English country estate.

Greenfingers has more than its fair share of trite sentimentality. Midway into the film, it's clear that Hershman will push dramatic credibility aside for a chance to pull audiences' heartstrings. Luckily, Owens' steady performance continually pulls Greenfingers from the brink of melodramatic hokum. -- SR (Unrated.)

HARDBALL -- (Grade: B) It's time to bury the hatchet, at least partially. Finally, Keanu Reeves' career moves show some forethought. In Hardball. Reeves begins to shed his surfer dude image to create a flawed protagonist, Conor O'Neill, a gambling junkie whose debt has his life in danger. An old friend agrees to help him if he will coach a Chicago inner-city boys baseball team.

Think Bad News Bears 'n the Hood. The film finds some nice, warm moments when the boys come together and rise above their problems. It also has some deadly serious moments that capture the quality of life for inner-city school children who live in continual fear. Still, Hardball stumbles as it rounds third and heads for home by foregoing plot and character conclusions with over-sentimentality and heavy-handed emotional manipulation. -- RP (Rated PG-13.)

HEARTS IN ATLANTIS -- (Grade: D) Anthony Hopkins' weathered face, steely gaze, and resonating voice were made for storytelling. But director Scott Hicks' Hearts in Atlantis fails to take advantage of Hopkins' spirited presence.

The tale begins when Robert Garfield (David Morse) attends the funeral of a childhood friend. Memory lane leads him back to his childhood growing up in a small town in 1960 New England. The 11-year-old Bobby's (Anton Yelchin) life is forever changed when a mysterious stranger, Ted Brautigan (Hopkins), moves into the attic of the large house he shares with his aloof, single mother (Hope Davis). An unlikely friendship ensues between man and boy, but too much is unexplained for the relationship to be compelling.

When Yelchin isn't stumbling around the screen as the kindhearted Bobby, Hopkins is mesmerizing. But it's a sad predicament when so earnest an actor finds himself cast adrift in an aimless movie. -- SR (Rated PG-13.)

HIT AND RUNWAY -- (Grade: C) First-time director Christopher Livingston pokes fun at the trend of aspiring screenwriters with this likeable New York-based comedy. Things turn screwball after restaurant worker Alex Andero (Michael Parducci) seeks the help of Jewish playwright Elliot Springer (Peter Jacobson)on finishing the draft of an action movie. The joke is that Springer isn't interested in writing fluff until Andero promises him a date with a pretty waitress (Kerr Smith).

Actually, the real joke is that this pair of writers are able to work together at all. The oddball relationship between Andero and Springer is the best thing about Hit and Runway. Luckily, they're in most of the film's scenes. -- SR (Unrated.)

IRON MONKEY -- (Grade: A) Hard to believe that Yuen Woo-Ping's 1993 period drama failed to attract audiences in its native Hong Kong. A long-time cult favorite on the U.S. festival circuit, the re-released film remains as entertaining as ever.

The Iron Monkey (Yu Ruan-Guang) is an herbal doctor in a Robin Hood-like battle against the corrupt Qing Dynasty. Danger follows the Iron Monkey after he battles a Manchu official known as the "Monk" (Yan Yee-Kwan). When the "Monk" kidnaps a young boy, Wong Fei-hung (Tsang Sze-Man), the boy's father (Donnie Yen) tries to catch the elusive Iron Monkey in order to save his son.

Nonstop action, slapstick humor and wire-enhanced acrobatics keep the film moving at a brisk pace. This is one of those joyful films that speaks to the child in all of us. -- SR (Rated PG-13.)

JEEPERS CREEPERS -- (Grade: C) Writer/director Victor Salva has crafted an old school horror film that wears its many influences like a patchwork jacket. The pace lacks the weird feel of Night of the Living Dead or The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but the landscape has all the creepy details in place. The blank stares and slow reactions may have audiences talking back to the screen like a Mystery Science Theater 3000 revival. The banter between siblings-in-trouble Trish (Gina Phillips) and Darius (Justin Long) is annoyingly realistic and worth every comment.

Midway through, Jeepers Creepers tips its hand as Salva pays homage to the early horror novels of Steven King. There are creepy black crows and cats aplenty, prescient black folks trying to save doomed souls and old songs that hint at the timeless quality of evil. Unfortunately, like even the best King novel, there is no big bang at the end of Jeepers Creepers. The sound audiences will hear is the huge rush of their deflating hopes for a true guilty pleasure. -- ttc (Rated R.)

JOY RIDE -- (Grade: C) Director John Dahl pays homage to the 1971 Steven Spielberg thriller Duel with this highway suspenser about two brothers (Paul Walker and Steve Zahn) who find themselves the targets of a mysterious trucker named Rusty Nail.

An agreeable mix of jokes and jolts drives the familiar storytelling in Joy Ride. College freshman Lewis (Walker) and his girlfriend Venna (Leelee Sobieski) take a cross-country road trip. Lewis' troublesome older brother (Zahn) is along for comic relief. The chills begin after the brothers play a CB prank on a lonely trucker who becomes intent on revenge.

Joy Ride won't make Dahl's long-time fans forget his early films like Kill Me Again, Red Rock West and The Last Seduction. But there are enough of Dahl's noirish trademarks to make Joy Ride a worthwhile ride. -- SR (Rated R.)

JURASSIC PARK III -- (Grade: D) Director Joe Johnston's installment of Steven Spielberg's popular monster-dinosaur-movie franchise turns out to be the worst entry in the three-film series. Granted, Jurassic Park III does stretch its visual-effects resources by adding two more dinosaur villains to its arsenal. But as a full-fledged monster movie, Jurassic Park III offers few shocks. Its tale of renowned paleontologist Alan Grant (Sam Neill from Jurassic Park) leading a bunch of clueless civilians (Téa Leoni, William H. Macy and Michael Jeter) off a dinosaur-infested island is fairly redundant. When Grant sprints through the jungle trying to escape from a rampaging T-Rex, Jurasic Park III repeats the same thrills seen in the first two movies. Jurassic Park III is thoroughly unoriginal, and that's the worst thing you can say about any sequel. -- SR (Rated PG-13.)

K-PAX -- (Grade: B) Most actors would consider losing direct eye contact a dramatic obstacle. Not Kevin Spacey, whose tight-lipped smirk is the key expression breathing life into his mystyerious spaceman, Prot. Spacey uses his dark sunglasses as an emotional asset. You can't decide whether Prot, a mental patient at a Manhattan hospital, is really from the faraway planet K-Pax or not.

Based on Gene Brewer's 1995 novel, K-Pax is not entirely original. Past films have tackled the "visiting alien" story in a humanist manner. Prot's fellow patients resemble colorful extras from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Prot's psychologist, Dr. Mark Powell (Jeff Bridges) would fit easily in any hospital melodrama. It is the emotional chemistry between Bridges and Spacey that keeps K-Pax compelling. The magic lies in Prot's words, the mystery in Powell's sense of disbelief over Prot's storytelling. -- SR (Rated PG-13.)

THE LAST CASTLE -- (Grade: D) Robert Redford's stoic performance as a court-martialed general is the best thing about director Rod Lurie's military prison drama. Redford's larger-than-life charisma is put to good use as a man of principal who leads a revolt against a corrupt prison warden (James Gandolfini). Lurie (Deterrence, The Contender) appears overwhelmed by the film's large-scale action. As a result, The Last Castle feels messy.

Gandolfini's miscast performance as the villainous warden adds to the film's problem. The origins of Redford's fight are never quite clear.

Redford does more with his eyes and facial expressions than all of the film's elaborate explosions and gunfire. Midway into The Last Castle, it's clear that Redford is the last man standing in a sloppy story. -- SR (Rated R.)

LIAM -- (Grade: B) Director Stephen Frears makes good use of his young hero, Catholic boy Liam Sullivan (Anthony Burrows) in his heartfelt, British drama.

Ian Hart and Claire Hackett deliver credible performances as Liam's struggling parents. Frears and screenwriter Jimmy McGovern capture the film's grim, depression era, Liverpool setting. But the heart and soul of Liam belongs to the compelling Burrows. Thanks to Burrows' performance, Liam will never be confused with the upbeat Billy Elliot. -- SR (Rated R.)

MAX KEEBLE'S BIG MOVE -- (Grade: D) Attention parents: The first family-friendly movie in two months is a real loser. Director Tim Hill discards storytelling for a barrage of redundant slapstick humor in the forgettable Max Keeble's Big Move. Alex D. Linz is likable as the film's title character. He's an average Joey who seeks revenge on his junior high bullies after his dad announces plans to relocate to distant Chicago. But Linz's easygoing manner is overwhelmed by all the goop and gooey gags Hill tries to squeeze into the film. Max Keeble's Big Move is the type of kid's movie that gross-out comic Tom Green might someday make, and that's not a good thing. -- SR (Rated PG.)

MONSTERS, INC. -- (Grade: B) The best part of director Peter Docter's witty animated adventure is Billy Crystal's screechy voice. Crystal's sarcasm and dead-on comic timing brings Mike, a bulbuos, green, one-eyed manager at the monster-run company that turns children's screams into electrical power, to life.

Produced by Pixar, the kingpins of three-dimensional animation, Monsters, Inc. trades the humanistic themes of their Toy Story films for something sassier. John Goodman brings a jovial spirit to a furry blue beast named Sulley. Steve Buscemi is nails-on-the-chalkboard annoying as the conniving lizard, Randall. The monsters' lives are turned upside-down after a small girl named Boo accidentally stumbles into Monstropolis.

Monsters, Inc. doesn't rate as a Snow White-type Disney classic, but it's a fun diversion. Crystal's feisty Mike will make every member of the family laugh, and that's an impressive achievement for any family movie. -- SR (Rated G.)

MULHOLLAND DRIVE -- (Grade: A) A handgun, a girl, a limousine and a collision are the elements that jump-start David Lynch's mind-blowing mystery. But the magic behind Lynch's storytelling lies in his ability to twist characters, time and space into an unforgettable puzzle.

Naomi Watts delivers plenty of wide-eyed optimism as the innocent Betty, who arrives in Los Angeles intent on becoming a famous actress. Laura Elena Harring overflows with sensuality as the dark mystery woman whom Betty befriends. Their believable relationship makes this one of Lynch's more humanistic films.

Bizarre characters, strange settings and shifting identities connect Mulholland Drive with Lynch's previous work, especially Lost Highway, Blue Velvet and Twin Peaks. But Mulholland Drive rises above the rest with an avant-garde finish that takes one's breath away. Out of his girl-comes-to-Hollywood story, Lynch has created something unique and artistic. -- SR (Rated R.)

MY FIRST MISTER -- (Grade: D) For the saccharine melodrama My First Mister, actress Christine Lahti steps behind the camera for her feature film debut. My First Mister is a familiar, odd-couple dramedy. Punky, 17-year-old Jennifer (LeeLee Sobieski) fosters a growing friendship with middle-aged Randall (Albert Brooks), the uptight owner of an upscale clothing store.

Lahti shows the technical prowess necessary for a career behind the camera. Sadly, My First Mister dissolves into trite sentimentality. It's as if you can see Lahti telling her editor, "This scene should get them reaching for the tissues."

As the stiff older man, Brooks delivers the familiar, understated performance that's his specialty. Only Sobieski manages to pull emotional honesty out of the film's clunky soap opera. Capturing teen angst and rebellion beautifully, it is Sobieski's heartfelt performance that saves My First Mister from becoming a complete disaster. -- SR (Rated PG-13.)

ON THE LINE -- (Grade: F) It's sad that a movie starring boys from N'Sync could be so out of sync in every way. You'd think these guys would have learned to lip-sync by now. Nope. They're all off, including some of the worst spoken voiceovers in film history. Presumably, the producers didn't want to show the cute boys cussing, so they re-recorded.

The whole movie is out of touch. The comedy? Pathetic. The romance? Awful. The plot? Ignorant, and worse, unoriginal. (For the right way to show mis-connected soul-mates, see Serendipity.) Teen heart-throbs Lance Bass and Joey Fatone star in this clunker. Both should be excommunicated from Hollywood for this sin against cinema. I won't bore you with story details. Something about meeting the love of your life on Chicago's El train, and then losing her. It's just a vehicle for sappy love songs and juvenile humor, neither of which work at all. -- (Rated PG)

THE ONE -- (Grade: F) It's baffling how director Jim Wong manages to make kung-fu legend Jet Li look boring in the pulpy fiasco, The One. An incoherent comic-book plot doesn't help matters. A pair of Jet Li dopplegangers battle for power over the multi-universe. Yulaw (Li) is the baddie from another world. Gace (also Li) is the LAPD cop just trying to keep himself from being assassinated by the mysterious superman who looks a lot like himself.

Part of The One's problem is that Li spends too much time with a gun in hand. Any chop-socky fan will tell you that Li can do more with his feet and fists than an entire gang of gun-toting villains.

Carla Gugino is cast aside as Li's veterinarian wife. Delroy Lindo brings little credibility to the multiverse as a futuristic detective on the evil Li's tail. The likable Li does smile throughout the film. He appears to be having a good time, and it's safe to say that he's the only one. -- SR (Rated PG-13.)

THE OTHERS -- (Grade: B) Strange noises take presidence over spoken dialogue in a traditional English Gothic like The Others. Unseen people converse behind closed doors. A girl (Alakina Mann) and her younger brother (James Bentley) insist they've seen ghosts. The children's irritable mother (Nicole Kidman) is not convinced by their supernatural stories. Still, it's not long before she realizes that something otherworldly is inhabiting their country house.

Writer/director Alejandro Amenábar's core mystery -- who are the Others? -- is somewhat of a movie cliché. But I'm hard-pressed to recall the last film that made me squirm in my seat as much as The Others. -- SR (Rated PG-13.)

OUR LADY OF THE ASSASSINS -- (Grade: A) Director Barbet Schroeder adapts Fernando Vallejo's 1994 novel La Virgen de los Sicaros into a searing drama that combines the violent chaos of Medillin, Columbia, with humanistic themes borrowed from Thomas Mann's Death in Venice.

Columbian stage actor German Jaramillo delivers a powerful performance as the weary Fernando, an acclaimed writer who has returned to his hometown of Medillin to die. Anderson Ballesteros is appropriately tough as the street punk who Fernando befriends. Directing his first foreign-language film in sixteen years, Schroeder makes the most of the digital video format with a wheeling visual style that boosts the film's sense of immediacy. But Vallejo is the true star of Our Lady of the Assassins. By adapting his own novel into the screenplay, Vallejo insures the film's brutal honesty. -- SR (Rated R.)

PLANET OF THE APES -- (Grade: D) Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes remake turns out to be one of those extravagant Hollywood movies that never should have been made in the first place. As it stands, Apes is an action blockbuster that doesn't seem to know what to do or where to go.

Burton claims that his version of Planet of the Apes preserves the cynical spirit of Pierre Boulle's original novel, Monkey Planet. But none of Boulle's political commentary about ecology, colonialism and social justice is evident in Burton's Apes. Stripped of the racial metaphors found in Boulle's novel and the 1968 film, Burton's Apes is content to be a typical adventure movie. The last blockbuster of the summer has turned out to be a familiar story lost amid a vast desert location and an army of gorilla extras. -- SR (Rated PG-13.)

THE PRINCESS DIARIES -- (Grade: D) Young Mia Thermopolis (Anne Hathaway) is a real princess who just doesn't know about her birthright. Her grandmother, Queen Clarisse Renaldi (Julie Andrews) comes to set her straight and brings along the dutiful Joe (Hector Elizondo) to assist with Mia's grooming. The film even has a real-life young teen queen in co-star Mandy Moore, who plays a popular high schooler getting her comeuppance. I'm exposing myself to charges of redundancy by noting that The Princess Diaries is a rehashing of Pygmalion and not a very good one at that. Such negativity will only show my age. The young girls in the audience will love the movie. -- ttc (Rated G.)

RAT RACE -- (Grade: C) Director Jerry Zucker and writer Andy Breckman update Stanley Kramer's 1963 screwball epic It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World into a slapstick farce about a group of people in a race to Silver City, N.M., for a $2 million prize. Rat Race isn't an authorized remake of Kramer's Cinerama comedy. Still, the idea of a bunch of people running around wildly in pursuit of money is not a terribly original idea.

Zucker does his best to keep the sight gags coming in Rat Race. Monty Python alum John Cleese enjoys the biggest laughs as the man behind the goofy scheme. The rest of the comic ensemble -- Cuba Gooding Jr., Whoopi Goldberg, Rowan Atkinson and Jon Lovitz -- enjoy equal shares of comic hits and misses. Without credible characters or a substantial story, Rat Race comes to pieces once its gags run out. -- SR (Rated PG-13.)

RIDING IN CARS WITH BOYS -- (Grade: C) Both attuned to the humor and warmth in personal stories, Drew Barrymore and director Penny Marshall should be the perfect match. But Riding in Cars with Boys lacks the uplifting spirit of these two women. It also fails to capture that quality in Beverly Donofrio, the writer on whose life the movie's based. Barrymore plays Donofrio in a drama that looks at teen pregnancy, personal sacrifices and the bad decisions that pushed the 15-year-old girl to the verge of adulthood. Despite her comedic innocence, Barrymore works best in the dramatic moments between Donofrio and her best friend (Brittany Murphy) and her father (James Woods). Bringing the film down a notch are the scenes between Donofrio and her drug-addict husband (Steve Zahn). Barrymore and Zahn seem incapable of supporting each other.

This is by no means a bad film. It hopefully marks a transition for Barrymore. Next time, maybe she won't just settle for playing grown-up. -- ttc (Rated PG-13.)

RUSH HOUR 2 -- (Grade: C) Like all of Jackie Chan's films, Rush Hour 2 has plenty of acrobatic kung fu, synchronized fighting and daredevil stunts. Punches are delivered with comic-book gusto. The action is consistently outrageous. When the bathrobe-clad heroes confront the gang lord's thugs in a massage parlor, it's clear Rush Hour 2 is not to be taken too seriously.

But the truth is that Rush Hour 2 suffers from the same uninspired storytelling found in most of this summer's big-budget movies. The film struggles just to connect kung fu sequences in a believably dramatic manner. Rush Hour 2 slows every time Chan pauses to catch his breath to practice his English. The gravity-defying stunts have a way of compensating for dramatic shortcomings, but Rush Hour 2 never stops feeling like a movie that was made without a script. -- SR (Rated PG-13.)

SCARY MOVIE 2 -- (Grade: C) The Wayans Brothers (writers/actors Shawn and Marlon) and director Keenen Ivory are back and ready to show how well-versed they are in the latest releases on video and DVD. Every gag in Scary Movie 2 has been appropriated from a recent movie. Blockbuster Video should sue for an executive producer credit.

The original Scary Movie had as its inspiration the Scream series. Scary Movie 2 lacks this focus. The movie leans on the remake of The Haunting with more gags targeting Hollow Man, Charlie's Angels, What Lies Beneath, Mission: Impossible 2, Hannibal and even Nike basketball commercials. I just pray these guys didn't spend too much time watching all those awful movies to prepare for Scary Movie 2. That would be really scary. -- ttc (Rated R.)

THE SCORE -- (Grade: D) A three-way dramatic punch of Marlon Brando, Robert De Niro and Edward Norton fails to breathe some much-needed life into director Frank Oz's pastiche of 1970s crime dramas. De Niro looks tired as the gentleman thief who promises his girlfriend (Angela Bassett) he'll retire after one last job. Norton is surprisingly one-dimensional as the egotistic hot-shot who partners with De Niro for the heist. Only Brando, as the heavyset mastermind behind the crime -- the theft of a priceless scepter from the Montreal Customs House --gives the film a charismatic jolt. Brando energizes The Score every time he appears on screen. If Brando wasn't confined by his supporting role status, The Score might have become the taut crime drama it aspires to be. Instead, it's an uninspired heist tale that we've seen countless times before. -- SR (Rated R.)

SHREK -- (Grade: A) In directors Andrew Adamson and Vicky Jenson's Shrek, the role of the handsome prince is switched to something ugly and green. Everything about Shrek (voice of Mike Myers) screams, "Blech!" In the school of animated heroes, Shrek is intentionally unorthodox.

The adventure starts when the laughable villain Lord Farquaad (voice of John Lithgow) sends Shrek and his unlikely friend, a talking donkey (voice of Eddie Murphy), to rescue Princess Fiona (voice of Cameron Diaz), Farquaad's desired bride. Of course, Shrek doesn't realize Fiona is cursed with a magic spell.

Fractured or otherwise, Shrek remains a fairy tale at heart. That matters end "happily ever after" is a dramatic given. But Shrek gives the time-honored phrase a playful jab in the ribs. -- SR (Rated PG.)

SERENDIPITY -- (Grade: A) The New York City skyline shots we've grown so used to in run-of-the-mill romantic comedies like When Harry Met Sally and Sleepless in Seattle suddenly don't have us in the whimsical, lovey-dovey mood. Can a simple, little film like Serendipity remain relevant in the wake of Sept. 11?

Yes and No. Director Peter Chelsom blends a witty script with breezy pacing and a top-notch cast to concoct a please-everyone love story. What he doesn't do is make us forget what happened in the city that never sleeps.

After a chance encounter, Sara (Kate Beckinsale) and Jonathan (John Cusack) flirtatiously agree that the spark between them exists, but Sara insists that fate be tested. He puts his name on a five-dollar bill and she puts hers in a book. They part and let destiny run its course.

Serendipity isn't groundbreaking. But the film manages to find magic during its course. Chalk that up to great chemistry between Beckinsale and Cusack. -- RP (Rated PG-13.

13 GHOSTS -- (Grade: D) When the original 13 Ghosts appeared in theaters in 1960, audiences were issued "ghost viewer" glasses that revealed the spirits on the screen. Gimmicky? Sure, but clever. And that's what's lacking in this year's take on the story. It's a thriller that doesn't thrill. Per usual, the flaw begins and ends with the script. If we don't care about the people getting killed, there's no point in killing them.

Arthur (Tony Shalhoub) inherits a house from a strange uncle (F. Murray Abraham), only to find that it is no house at all, but a machine made to unleash the powers of hell. To operate it, 12 ghosts' souls are sacrificed. Who will be the 13th?

Hipsters Matthew Lillard (Scream) and Shannon Elizabeth (American Pie 2) are on board, but their minimal star wattage can't salvage the film. There are enough cheap tricks to entertain some, unless you ask a little more of your scary movie. -- RP (Rated R.)

TOMB RAIDER -- (Grade: B) Tomb Raider, starring bad girl Angelina Jolie, goes toe-to-toe with Raiders of the Lost Ark on all counts, except one. Tomb Raider is a blast to watch, full of envelope-pushing action and the strongest adventurer since Indy, but it lacks heart. Mind you, it's still entertaining, but it feels like hollow entertainment.

Nevertheless, Angelina Jolie makes you forget any quibbles you have with the film. On her chutzpah alone, Tomb Raider shines. Tomb Raider nails Jolie's unique blend of erotic toughness. And while his script lacks depth, West manages to make a fine movie independent of its video game origins -- RP (Rated PG-13.)

TORTILLA SOUP -- (Grade: B) Director Maria Ripoll tweaks Ang Lee's Eat Drink Man Woman in rousing fashion. By setting Lee's popular story in the latino community, Tortilla Soup proves the universal message in family, friendship and good food.

Every Sunday, Master Chef Martin (Hector Elizondo) prepares a feast for his three daughters (Jacqueline Obradors, Tanara Mello and Elizabeth Peña). Maintaining the family tradition and enjoying their father's excellent cooking are the reasons for their visit. But life lessons are what each grown daughter takes away from the table. Tortilla Soup is a humanistic drama that offers laughs and tears in credible manner. For the always reliable Elizondo, it's a welcome opportunity to shine in a film's spotlight role. -- SR (Rated PG.)

TRAINING DAY -- (Grade: B) Director Antoine Fuqua follows up his forgettable features The Replacement Killers (1998) and Bait (2000) with the taut police corruption thriller Training Day. Ethan Hawke gives a surprisingly gritty performance as a rookie beat cop assigned to an anti-drug squad. Denzel Washington is the squad's shady leader, Sgt. Alonzo Harris, a cop who fights as dirty as the dealers he's trying to catch.

Fuqua directs Training Day with the visual panache we've come to expect of his films. But the film's greatest attribute is Washington's high-energy performance as the corrupt Harris. Balancing charm and creepiness with pinpoint agility, he makes Harris into a character too complex to be discarded as a cliché bad guy. When Training Day dissolves into routine car chases and shootouts, it's Washington's exuberant performance that keeps the story believable. -- SR (Rated R.)

TWO CAN PLAY THAT GAME -- (Grade: B) It's the age-old game of cat and mouse. In romance, two people will stop at nothing to get upper-hand. Two Can Play that Game is a fine retelling of this overdone (but always relevant) tale. A fresh cast, a smart script and a break-out lead performance from Vivica A. Fox redeem the film from its trite premise.

Shante (Fox) thinks she has love all figured out until she finds her man Keith (Morris Chestnut) with another woman. What follows is Shante's personal textbook on how to get her man back.

Anthony Anderson delivers humor as Keith's pal Tony, who seems to have figured out how to get around "The Rules." But Fox's sassy performance leads the film. It takes the right character and a smart actor to pull off the talking-to-the-camera trick (see "Bueller, Ferris.") Fox manages and the film is better for it. Because in love, you really only know what's going on when you step inside someone's head. -- RP (Rated R.)

ZOOLANDER -- (Grade: B) An unapologetically silly romp, Zoolander is basically Ben Stiller's version of a Saturday Night Live movie. Take a paper-thin sketch character and put a feature film around him. Some times it works (Wayne's World) and some times it doesn't (It's Pat).

Let's be frank: This is one dumb film. Stupid beyond reproach. And yet you can't help but laugh. Derek Zoolander (Stiller) was the top male model working the fashion industry until up-and-comer Hansel (Owen Wilson) knocked him off the throne. In his depressed and vulnerable state, Zoolander is the perfect patsy for a group of fashion conspirators who plan to assassinate a world leader.

What Zoolander lacks is the dark edge of Stiller's earlier directorial effort, The Cable Guy. This film has as much edge as a super ball. -- RP (Rated PG-13.)


personals | classifieds | cover | listings | humor | news | movies | music | arts & entertainment | dining | classifieds | mediakit | home

Music Listings

Club Directory

Dance Directory

Opening Films

Restaurant Listings

Arts List

Attractions

Classes List

Events List

Groups List

Literary List

Onstage List

Opportunities List

Sports List



Cincinnati CityBeat covers news, public issues, arts and entertainment of interest to readers in Greater Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky. The views expressed in these pages do not necessarily represent those of the publishers. Entire contents are copyright 2001 Lightborne Publishing Inc. and may not be reprinted in whole or in part without prior written permission from the publishers. Unsolicited editorial or graphic material is welcome to be submitted but can only be returned if accompanied by a self-addressed, stamped envelope. Unsolicited material accepted for publication is subject to CityBeat's right to edit and to our copyright provisions.