There's more than one new Junior in this here town. In giving birth to the world's tallest, fastest and only looping wooden roller coaster, complications naturally arose -- Mother Nature can be such a bitch -- but what else would you expect when it comes to the much-anticipated arrival of one big bundle of joy? Make that the biggest bundle of joy in amusement park history.
Both father and son are doing fine, so get ready to pass out the cigars.
Yep. That's right. After a couple of false alarms and a lengthy gestation period, Son of Beast will be delivered to proud papas, Paramount's Kings Island and its trademark ride The Beast, on Friday.
Well, that's the latest due date for the ride, barely in time to make it for the originally announced April 2000 unleashing. As of press time, things still seemed a "go" for welcoming the latest addition to the park this weekend, despite a crane still in position on April 24 and the April 25 media preview being cancelled.
A lot can be said for optimism, but still it's hard to tame a beast that will upon release will be suffering from the terrible 2s.
After all, this has been a two-year investment for Paramount's Kings Island. The all-wooden coaster track is constructed of eight layers of wood with steel bolts on top and bottom. And just like The Beast, baby is designed to follow the contour of the land, making it a "terrain coaster."
But Son of Beast will be acting like anything but a newborn babe once it's out of the gate -- maybe demon spawn is more like it. For many roller coaster aficionados, though, that's a good thing.
Personally, I find the thought of Son of Beast, with its five world records, a little pee-in-my-pants frightening. Maybe it has to do with my fear of heights. Maybe it's the lap bar factor. Maybe it has to do with the fact that the Ohio National Guard was scheduled to be on standby for the media preview. Not exactly a comforting idea.
But that's just me. Others are bursting with excitement over the fact that the new baby has stripped The Beast of most of its reigning titles. The first lift hill ascends 218 feet, making Son of Beast the "tallest wooden roller coaster structure ever made," while the subsequent 214 feet that riders plummet down provides the "tallest wooden roller coaster drop in the world."
But that's not enough. Son of Beast has to act like a spoiled child following up that statistic with the next drop of 164 feet, making for, you guessed it, the "second tallest wooden roller coaster drop in the world." It makes the 150 feet of the third drop seem mild by comparison.
But why stop there? How about a loop approximately halfway through the three-minute ride with only a lap bar to prevent riders from a 103-foot fall to the ground below? Uh, just a lap bar? And, of course, it makes Son of Beast "the only looping roller coaster in the world."
Did I mention there's just a lap bar as security as you zoom upside down? No over the shoulder harness. Is it OK for a grown man to cry for his mommy?
But just like an infomercial ... wait, there's more. The ride tops out at 78.382 miles per hour, outdoing its papa to become the "fastest wooden roller coaster." And the maximum G-force, or rate at which your cheeks become one with your earlobes, is 4.46 Gs. Clearly Son of Beast is not very respectful of its elders. Yeah, but who's going to tell it to go sit in the corner?
At least the original still has one thing to boast about in its 21st year of operation: At 7,392 feet, The Beast exceeds its son's track length of 7,032 feet to remain "the longest wooden roller coaster in the world." Take a wild guess as to who holds the No. 2 position.
Son of Beast might just be a bit too big for its britches. But I'm certainly not.
I laugh at fear, ready to face this SOB like a man -- once I put on my Depends. ©
